Loss of brother, what to do?

wendep · Mar 13, 2014

I have had two male shelties from same litter for 8 1/2 yrs (never separated).
I recently ( 2 weeks ago) had to have one put down to illness that no one seemed to understand? Anyways, the remaining little guy I want to make sure I am doing what is best for him. I always had them both cordoned off in their own room at night with a gate as we had 3 cats. I like my sleep. Well, since his brother passed, I have not put gate up (only one cat left). Am I wrong? Did I take away his sense of security at night? He might come up to my room with me at night, but sleeps either at top of stairs or back down in his room. I need to do what is best for him and since this is a first for me I need advice please. Thanks.
He is eating and playing with me just fine, as we always did before.

Mom2Melli · Mar 13, 2014

That sounds fine. He can make a choice that way based on his confidence level.

My only advice from having lost one of a bonded pair of boys is just spend extra time. Don't project your sadness onto him or he will feel it. Just establish new routines and new normals and allow him to continue on. As long as he is functioning well without signs of depression (inactivity, lack of appetite, inappropriate pottying) don't dwell on it. However, perhaps doing some extra special walks or car trips or visiting some new places like a new park or such might be good. Allow him to bond a bit more one on one with you for a bit of extra company.

wendep · Mar 13, 2014

Yes, I am going on long walks with him as we skipped those for a while when the other one was not able. And we are getting into our routine of same areas, but alone and he is doing well with that. While we are all sad at out loss, I am thankful that I have my little Odie for company. He is even starting to do some of the things his brother did. Just wanted to be sure I wasn't ignoring something I should be doing. Thanks so much.

sable · Mar 13, 2014

I had two setters from the same litter. I lost one at 7 and his bro lived til he was 15 1/2. The one who lived til he was over 15 realized he didn't have to share attention and play time eventually.

It took him a little time. At first he thought his brother ran away and was barking in every part of the yard to bring him back in. Lots of attention is all
I can tell you. You are now the companion. They do adjust after awhile, but its the confusion where did they go? Its hard on everyone dogs and family.

Best wishes for everyone.

trini · Mar 13, 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

As far as a change in routine, as long as your little one doesn't seem upset by the change, I think a routine change can sometimes actually help. After all life has changed for both of you with the passing of his brother and it may help him to move on emotionally to acknowledge that change. I think it is good that you are letting him choose where to sleep so that he has the option to sleep nearer to you rather than alone in the room that he used to share at night with his brother.

Each pet, like each person, reacts differently to a loss. Some seem lost for weeks, refusing to eat and searching endlessly for their sibling or pal. But with the extra time and attention you are giving your little guy it sounds like he is handling this life change as well as can be hoped.

Trini

BarbV · Mar 13, 2014

I too, am sorry for your loss. I lost my 6 year old boy just a few weeks ago. Indy and I are still kinda feeling our way around his absence in our lives.

Everyone handles loss differently. Personally, I'm on the hunt for another furever pup. It might be a Sheltie or not.....maybe or rescue, or not....we shall see

I'm actually killing myself here because Indy...the great Poo Eater....is now eating his own freakin' poo instead of Bacca's! .....Eeeww!

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