As a new puppy in your home I promise to: 1. Be good 95 percent of the time. 2. Only be mostly rotten the rest of the 10 percent of the time. 3. To work on my math skills, if you promise to remember that math is a human concept and I'm still just a puppy. 4. To follow you to the bathroom. 5. To let you chase me because it's good for your health. 6. To help you decorate better. Clean floors are boring. Toilet paper shreds help break up the tedium. 7. To guard my backyard from the enemy squirrels. 8. To give you kisses and let you hug me. 9. To miss you terribly whenever you have to leave me, but to understand that you need to sometimes, even though I really think that is kind of stupid. 10. To do something to make you laugh or smile at least once a day. This is my solemn pledge on what I hope to accomplish as I grow up. Please help guide me.