This iz Watson speeking now. I iz afraid my mama haz you all fooled! She iz not a good sheltie mama... she iz the MEANEST MAMA EVER!! She told me thiz weekend "we iz going to a party" and I luv parteez! She said "Watson, you hafta look handsome!" Iz I already not the handsomest sheltie ever? I tried to give her sad eyez but she said No, I'm trimming your nails anyway. She said I iz not allowed to grow talonz and I also can't wear a rat's nest for a coat. I don't know what that meanz, but she trimmed my nailz AND brushed me! Then, at the party everyone loved me and someone said she should give me a hot dog... but she WOULDN'T!! Why iz she so mean all the time? I acted all slow and sleepy to find a hot dog on the ground, but I found a meatball instead cuz people are silly and drop stuff. I tried to be quick and sneaky, but she figured me out and fished the meatball out of my mouth and said "Oh Watson, you can't eat that you'll get the poopz." What are the poopz? I might not get them, but I haz a meatball now! She took me to class last night and said I'd get lotz of treatz. Do you know what I got? Carrotz and green beanz!! Mama said I'm a porkchop... I think that iz something I want to eat! I can't believe how mean my mama alwayz iz to me! Don't let her fool you! The undersigned and aggrieved sheltie, Watson.