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Beignet crossed over...

Discussion in 'Sheltie Angels' started by Trip, May 8, 2024.

  1. Trip

    Trip Forums Enthusiast

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    I joined this forum about 12 years ago to learn about this amazing breed. I tried rescuing without any luck in my area. Finally started working with a group in Georgia instead of my home state, that all changed when I came across a scared looking puppy on Craigslist. Met up with the people rehoming her and she was shivering and looked abused, I couldn't let them keep her. We took her home and you guys helped me learn about how to take care of her, this was my first Sheltie. Over the beginning years, I met up with SheepOfBlue from here at a flyball event, but Beignet never showed any signs of wanting to play with toys or balls, so we didn't attend any other events. I drifted away from the forum not long after. She had a spinal stroke 2 years ago at 10 years old and I feel like we almost lost her then. She worked real hard in therapy and was walking again in a few months. This slow down made us miss some early indicators I feel like would have noticed the cancer sooner, I took her in for her annual and was told she had stage 4 cancer after her blood tests came back with low white blood cells. We went to start chemo, we sent off tests on the lymphoma to Washington State to target it and she started an intro base chemo treatment. They gave her an expectancy of about a year with treatment. Unfortunately a week and a half later, she wasn't able to walk and wouldn't eat and the oconologist said she had internal bleeding and an enlarged spleen. She was in severe pain and breathing was extremely labored. Vet advised us to not let her suffer any longer. We decided to let her go on Monday. It just felt so quick and I can't stop beating myself up that we missed things where we could have gotten her treatment that could have kept her around for awhile longer. I just feel lost without her, she was the glue holding me together through a lot of the years. We only got 12 short years with her.

    Thank you for the help you guys gave me. It was a privilege to have had her in my life and I hope I gave her a good life. I don't know where to go from here. I keep looking for her, so I can lie down and give her some scratches because any time I was sad, she was there. I'm thinking of volunteering at a shelter or looking into fostering, but I feel like it is too soon as well. I miss having her so much and struggling with how to grieve her.
     
    GlennR, Caro, KarenCurtis and 5 others like this.
  2. Ann

    Ann Moderator

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    I'm very sorry to hear about your precious Beignet. Cancer is a terrible disease and takes so many of our dogs. She was so fortunate to have found you and for the years you gave her....I remember your early days here on the Forum. She blessed your life too.

    Try not to beat yourself up over the what-ifs. We all do it, but cancer is so insidious that even with early intervention, the odds are against them. You might have given her more time, but the treatment and illness might have been tough on her too. In the end, you did the right thing for your pup in selflessly giving her peace. I hope you eventually can make room in your heart for another pup to love. It won't replace Beignet, but it will help you heal. Sending you comfort and peace. :hugs
     
  3. SheepOfBlue

    SheepOfBlue Premium Member

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    Don't feel bad one thing with Shelties is they are very stoic on pain. If you remember Sca he was racing and had a bunch of stuff out of joint. Vet didn't see anything you could feel him and the only thing was he slowed a bit suddenly. When we found the chiropractor he was back to his old self on speed. The only thing that showed how much he was sore was that he loved that vet. Most of the time he considered the poking and prodding to be undignified. With her it was BEND ME! Oh and I think I had Spitfire when we met. He never raced and still does as he wants. Slightly mellowed but still the house tyrant.

    Glad you could give Beignet a good home for 12 years after the rough start she had. For that you should be happy not feel bad.
     
  4. Sharon7

    Sharon7 Moderator

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    I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a blessing for both of you that you rescued her. It's just never long enough that they grace our lives. I think we all do the looking back and wondering if we could have changed something or done something better. Try not to beat yourself up. If you only had one dog and she's now gone it leaves a doubly big hole in your life. Let yourself feel what you feel and don't think you need to "get over it" quickly. Sometimes the grief comes in waves.

    I hope someday you will feel right about getting another companion to partner through life with.
     
  5. Ron Atkinson

    Ron Atkinson Premium Member

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    I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you did everything you could and it sounds like you both were very happy together.

    The problem with loving a dog is I believe they guarantee a lifetime of love, happiness and 1 day of pure sadness. It's how we handle that day, that defines us and you put her first.

    You mentioned Volunteering at your local shelter, that would be a good way to help you heal and you might meet a pup that needs a friend .

    I pray you are successful and an find the peace you seek.
     
    Sandy in CT, RikyR, Sharon7 and 2 others like this.
  6. Trip

    Trip Forums Enthusiast

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    Thank you everyone, getting support from those who understand has been helping me enormously.

    I remember both Sca and Spitfire, was looking at pics of them last night when going through all my Beignet pictures. Now I see the benefit of more than 1 sheltie. There is no replacing B, she was one of a kind, but having another would help I think. I do not think it will be long before we try and rescue or foster or come across another that needs a home in an unexpected place.

    Thanks, I'm struggling what is too soon to dive back in and haven't looked at rescues yet because I know I will want to take one home. I am going to try and give it some time, so we can grieve and the whole family can be in the right mentality to provide a loving home for another sheltie.
     
    Sandy in CT, RikyR, Sharon7 and 3 others like this.
  7. Calliesmom

    Calliesmom Moderator

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    sorry to hear about your loss- everyone's time is different for when they are ready for a new pup:hugs
     
    Sandy in CT, RikyR, Sharon7 and 2 others like this.
  8. Cindy

    Cindy Premium Member

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    I feel your pain.
    I lost Gavin a year ago february and was almost paralyzed with grief.
    I found Pico in July 2 weeks after loosing my mother to Pancreatic Cancer.
    He completely re-directed my energies and was an amazing distraction.
    I still slip up and refer to him as Gavin (maybe once a week) but he is soooo different he isn't a reminder.
    although I do have to constantly remind myself (and others who knew Gavin) that pico isn't a clone of Gavin and that is OK. he is not defective or less in any way.
     
    Sandy in CT, Ann, RikyR and 4 others like this.
  9. SheepOfBlue

    SheepOfBlue Premium Member

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    IMO don't wait. After I lost Dow the pre-Sheltie I was thinking no one could match him and I would regret it. When I finally got another dog it was Sca and I was like 'should have not waited' Very different personalities but both awesome. Even my penance, Spitfire, is awesome. If at times trying. And the new guy Ian is an absolute hoot. He is also good for Spitfire as they play a lot.
     
    Sandy in CT, Ann, RikyR and 3 others like this.
  10. Margi

    Margi Forums Sage

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    I'm so sorry. It sounds like you had a wonderful dozen years with your girl. I'm with Sheep about getting another sooner rather than later. If you love having dogs in your life, getting another dog isn't disrespecting or minimizing her memory. I went four years between our first sheltie and the second "set". I wish I hadn't denied myself four years of puppy love now.
     
    Sandy in CT, Ann, RikyR and 4 others like this.

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