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Trixie unexpectedly said goodbye

Discussion in 'Sheltie Angels' started by Katrina, Jul 28, 2022.

  1. Katrina

    Katrina Forums Regular

    Aug 6, 2020
    I am so incredibly sad. I had absolutely no notice. I didn't know a dog would die without being sick. She was my buddy. We could read each other emotions. It happened yesterday. She greeted me when I woke up as she always would. Perked her head up and came over to say good morning. She ate and went out fine. Drank plenty of water. She was fine. I had just groomed her recently, tenderly bathing her and combing her. Her paws were trimmed and she was lovely. Nothing about her looked out of place. Nothing wrong.

    Trixie was exactly 12 years and 2 months old.

    She got up from my feet and came over to have me pet her head which I did, just as I always did. I went briefly upstairs and came back. I couldn't find her in her normal spots. It took a minute but I found her curled up in her crate as small and round as she could be. I had to leave the house briefly so I wanted to take her upstairs to her water until I got back. She didn't want to come out. With coaxing, she came but then stood unmoving. I picked her up and took her upstairs and sat her down.

    She didn't follow me but remained rooted. All four legs unmoving and just staring me. I had only seen this one time before about three days before my first dog had died. I knew something was wrong.

    I took her to the vet and they monitored her throughout the morning.

    A few hours later, I got a phone call from my vet.

    How's Trixie?

    Not good. We did CPR. We did bloodwork. Her heart just stopped. There was nothing wrong with her. She was healthy.

    Wailing. I was in complete shock!

    Unexpected shock

    There is now a missing soul in my home. Why did she have to leave? She wasn't even sick. I had no warning and no idea. My poor baby. I had such a hard time getting to sleep last night and it was so lonely this morning.

    She and I were so close. Emotionally attached. She was my dog and I miss her so much. I can't believe she is not here. I am incredibly sad.
    ghggp, Sandy in CT, RikyR and 2 others like this.
  2. Ann

    Ann Moderator

    Feb 25, 2008
    Katrina, I am so very sorry for your loss of Trixie. They are part of our family, part of our lives, part of our hearts. Trixie sounds like a very special girl, and there are no words that will comfort you. Most of us have been where you are at one time or another. Please know that we share your grief and send you hugs and comfort. :hugs
    ghggp, Sandy in CT, RikyR and 3 others like this.
  3. Shelby's mom

    Shelby's mom Forums Enthusiast

    Jan 4, 2012
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
    ghggp, Sandy in CT, RikyR and 2 others like this.
  4. Cindy

    Cindy Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    San Francisco Bay Area, CA
    Words are never enough.....but I think many of us can feel your pain
    ghggp, Sandy in CT, RikyR and 2 others like this.
  5. Sharon7

    Sharon7 Moderator

    Oct 31, 2009
    My heart aches for you. I had a sudden loss like this years ago; my girl had a stroke. So suddenly gone. I wish I had magic words to say to help but please know ALL of us here have been through this and we understand your devastation. Trixie was a very special dog and you were so lucky to have been best friends. Reach out as you need to because this is a supportive community of fellow Sheltie lovers. :hugs
    ghggp, Sandy in CT, RikyR and 2 others like this.
  6. KarenCurtis

    KarenCurtis Premium Member

    Jan 30, 2010
    ghggp, Sandy in CT and Ron Atkinson like this.
  7. Katrina

    Katrina Forums Regular

    Aug 6, 2020
    I am so alone. I never knew how alone I am until now she is gone. It was my goal to get her past 12. My first and only other dog, also a Sheltie, died 1 month shy of 12. She was so healthy that this past month I was hopeful she would live longer ... maybe 14 or longer. I didn't know. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her.

    She was super bonded with me because I had gone through a whole lot of mess the past few years. My mother died 2017. I was in a massive car accident 2018. I left my husband 2019. He had my dog for 6 months and she thought I had died. Sat at my spots, etc and was all around sad. The moment I got her back, she never left my side. She doted on me.

    She just wasn't sick.

    I wailed. Wailed. Cried. Screamed. I had alone time with her once I brought her home from the vet's office until my two daughters came home.

    It's like she didn't put me through the trauma of disease. I know. I remember how horrible cancer was with my first Sheltie. Still, I don't know what is worse ... the trauma of disease but being ready but not ready when the time comes or the awful sudden of this shock.

    Both are bad.

    I just wasn't ready. I'm in shock.
    ghggp, Sandy in CT and Ron Atkinson like this.
  8. SheepOfBlue

    SheepOfBlue Premium Member

    Oct 15, 2009
    Sorry but like people sometimes it is just time. Sounds like she had a great life and didn't suffer though. I will give the guys extra hugs tonight in her honor.
    ghggp, Sandy in CT, RikyR and 2 others like this.
  9. Ron Atkinson

    Ron Atkinson Premium Member

    Oct 5, 2019
    Sugarcreek, Ohio
    I am so very sorry for your loss, But it sounds like she had a great life with you and didn't suffer at the time it was to cross the rainbow bridge.
    Prayers and Best Wishes your way.
    Ann, ghggp, Sandy in CT and 2 others like this.
  10. Katrina

    Katrina Forums Regular

    Aug 6, 2020
    Thank you for the kind words everyone. No, she didn't suffer. She even came to tell me goodbye before she went to lay down and curl up. It was so sweet. Then, when I picked her up to carry her later she just snuggled next to me the whole entire time.

    I remember the day I first brought her home and I remember sitting on the couch in the same exact spot where she told me yesterday morning her goodbye. That first day, she was such a little puppy and she was jumping up at my knee ... I cried. I looked down at this little puppy back then. I cried because she wasn't Lexy who was my first sheltie. I remember thinking to myself at this darling little puppy and wondering how in the world I could ever love her as much as loved my Lexy who had died about 1 1/2 years earlier. I loved Lexy who was my first dog ever. I loved him through Bladder Cancer. I loved him through diapers. I loved him through carrying him to the bathroom for a month. I loved him through those last days of him not moving off the mat after that fateful day where he stopped walking. I loved him when he just never stopped breathing but it was time to put him to sleep and the dear vet came to my house. I loved him through all that. I then through tears at remembering Lexy looked down at this darling little puppy ... Trixie. How could I ever love her the way I loved Lexy?

    But you know, she became even better than I could ever imagine. She was an even better dog than Lexy. Maybe I was better at training or it was the trials we both went through over the last 12 years or probably a combination of both but she was the best dog in the whole wide world.

    I go to bed alone tonight. My second night without my best friend and I am so very sad. I wasn't ready for her to go but she knew I was through the worst of it. She held on and loved me and spared me the trauma of disease. A friend told me that for her to die without illness meant that absolutely every single day was full of joy that I had taken good good care of her and she knew she was loved. She was my best friend and I don't know how I'll ever get to be happy again but the small glimmer of hope at the first tears of wondering how I'd love a dog that wasn't Lexy and who now I cry again about losing after falling in love with her for her being her ... well, I know somehow I'll get there. I just don't know how quite yet.
    Ann, ghggp and Sandy in CT like this.

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