Never lost a pet

Chris said:
You are so very wise to think about this difficult subject now, and even wiser to ask for advice. Let me address your last point first. Fortunately, dogs aren't like people exactly. Your ElderSheltie enjoys the company of your little Bandit -- she isn't jealous. She knows she holds a unique place in the family and is loved. So relax there.

While everyone's experience with death is personal, there are some things we experience in common. When we lose a loved one, we feel a mix of emotions. It's hard to believe our beloved one is gone -- our minds try to deny the reality of death. We feel anger that our dear one has been taken away. Sometimes it's aimed towards the vet, sometimes at God, sometimes at ourselves as we think of all the things we "should have" done. We may try to mentally bargain -- "God, if you let my Sheltie live just one more year..." We feel despair -- as if we'll never want another dog again. Eventually, however, we come to accept that life is not an unending gift...but love is.

I recommend that you talk to your vet now, about what to expect. He or she can help yo know how to recognize if your Sheltie is in pain. The hardest thing to do is make the decision to free your loved one from pain and the loss of dignity. Last summer, I had to make that decision for my old and dear Collie, Lassie. My vet came to my house when I realized that Lassie only had about a day or so before she would no longer be able to walk. I chose never to allow her to know she was helpless, to send her to Rainbow Bridge before she lost her dignity. Her last day was filled with happy things: a walk, her favorite food, and much love.

This forum is a place where you can share your feelings safely. Some people in the non-virtual world don't understand how much you love your Shelties, but we do. And remember: you must do what's right for you and your Sheltie. No one can judge you, but we can love and support you. :yes:
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Chris,

This is wonderfully written. You articulated beautifully everything that we feel when we lose our loved ones - whether furkids or human.

I would love to see this posted in "references"....Kelly, what do you think?

Barb
 
I wanted to add to Chris' list. There are 5 stages of grieving...the important one is blaming. You most assuredly will blame yourself..."If only I had seen the signs....If only I had taken him/her to the vet sooner, Of only I had..." The list is endless. You will blame yourself first and foremost blame yourself. It's ok to do this as this, it is an important part of grieving....it comes before acceptance.

I know your heart is breaking having to face what may be coming. It truly is heartbreaking and you are never ever ready for it. Most of us do know how horrible and lonely you may feel, but for those of us who have lost the "loves of our lives" we will be there to help you make it through those tough times following it
 
Very true about the blame stage. If only I'd noticed earlier. Why wasn't I paying closer attention?

Timber was almost 13 when he died and I was devastated because I didn't know that he had a tumour in his chest. I thought I should have seen all the signs and acted immediately. I thought he was just getting old.

My vet set me straight. Basicly, he asked me: "If I had known he had a tumour the size of my fist in his chest, would it really have made any difference? Would I have had him operated on at his age, when he was starting to fail in other ways? Would I have put him through that?" The answer, of course, was No. He died so suddenly that there was no time even for pain.

It was then that I stopped the Blame Game. It was simply his time.
 
No better way to say it !!

Chris said:
You are so very wise to think about this difficult subject now, and even wiser to ask for advice. Let me address your last point first. Fortunately, dogs aren't like people exactly. Your ElderSheltie enjoys the company of your little Bandit -- she isn't jealous. She knows she holds a unique place in the family and is loved. So relax there.

While everyone's experience with death is personal, there are some things we experience in common. When we lose a loved one, we feel a mix of emotions. It's hard to believe our beloved one is gone -- our minds try to deny the reality of death. We feel anger that our dear one has been taken away. Sometimes it's aimed towards the vet, sometimes at God, sometimes at ourselves as we think of all the things we "should have" done. We may try to mentally bargain -- "God, if you let my Sheltie live just one more year..." We feel despair -- as if we'll never want another dog again. Eventually, however, we come to accept that life is not an unending gift...but love is.

I recommend that you talk to your vet now, about what to expect. He or she can help yo know how to recognize if your Sheltie is in pain. The hardest thing to do is make the decision to free your loved one from pain and the loss of dignity. Last summer, I had to make that decision for my old and dear Collie, Lassie. My vet came to my house when I realized that Lassie only had about a day or so before she would no longer be able to walk. I chose never to allow her to know she was helpless, to send her to Rainbow Bridge before she lost her dignity. Her last day was filled with happy things: a walk, her favorite food, and much love.

This forum is a place where you can share your feelings safely. Some people in the non-virtual world don't understand how much you love your Shelties, but we do. And remember: you must do what's right for you and your Sheltie. No one can judge you, but we can love and support you. :yes:
Click to expand...


Chris you have even touched my heart!! So graciously said! I applaud you. Thanks Chris!
 
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