Curious Behavior

[lotsahair]

Hi!

I've been wondering about my dog's behavior and was wondering if anyone else experiences similar things with their dog.

First off, Maddie is my shadow. She follows me everywhere. She has also become a bit protective of me, hiding between my legs and barking at other people and dogs, and she gets upset if I pet other dogs (this is a behavior that I'd like to stop if anyone has ideas)

The thing that makes me so curious, is this: even though she is constantly near me and following me around the house, she does not like to cuddle or lay in my lap, nor does she jump onto the bed or sofa when I invite her. She prefers to lay under my chair or by my feet. However, she DOES respond to my other family members, eagerly jumping onto the sofa for some petting and to deliver face kisses (which she also doesn't do very often to me). It mystifies me and I was wondering if anyone had any insight or ideas as to why she is this way. It doesn't actually upset me as much as it just makes me curious. The possessiveness, however, does upset me and I would love suggestions on how to handle it.

Thanks!
-Brenda

 

[clancyh8sabby]

Well...its been said many times that Shelties need a job...and you need to decide what that job is..or they will come up with one on their own...
I think yours has decided that she "owns" you and its her job to keep everyone away...she can't do that if shes on your lap and and all cuddley
You might want to do some NILF nothing in life is free...to show her that you are the boss and she doesn't have to "guard" you.
All this means is...she must say "please" for everything...she wants outside..she must sit and have eye contact with you til you say ok and let her out...she wants food...she must sit and look to you to give permission.
All this lets her know you are in charge and call the shots.
When she gets bossy and doesn't want other dogs saying hello to you...you need to calmly and firmly tell her no..and don't allow her to push the other dog away.
They sure are quirky!!
I have one that tries to push other dogs and people away from me too...and the NILF has worked pretty good...but ya have to be really consistent and I beginning to think its a life long thing!!

woofs

Julie
Clancy & Abby

 

[Aztec]

Have you ever seen a someone who is maybe not real tough, yet acts it...but they have a big tough person to back them up, so no one messes with them? I think that is what is going on with the hiding under you and barking. She is stirring up trouble, but she is going to hide behind you just in case.

I do think she is guarding you. This is most likely an uncomfortable position for you. Dogs that feel they are in charge will often become stressed, and more and more behavior problems will result from it.

Practice NILIF as Julie suggested, it takes awhile to get the hang of - but you will have a happier dog in the end!

Look into getting her some brain puzzle type toys (even like a kong). This will give her something to do. Shelties need a lot of mental stimulation. With Aztec we just ask him to do things for us. He loves to do things like find certain items (hide and seek - with people or objects - is one of his favorites), play fetch, or do general doggie jobs.

 

[lotsahair]

Good responses, thanks so much!

I do make her sit for treats and feedings, but not for anything else. I will work on that.

Any more thoughts?

 

[Brighid's Mom]

My girl does something similar. She is clearly bonded to me and needs to be in whatever room that I am in. She doesn't have any protective or guarding behaviors but she will not snuggle with me or my husband like she does with all of the kids. She will lay at our feet and will sit on the sofa in the middle between us. But when one of the kids gets on sofa she has to be right on top of them or in their lap. She's even more likely to snuggle with a visitor than one of us.

We're not complaining about all the affection that she does show and there are lots of kisses and she shares the bed for a little while at night and is our constant companion. The odd thing is that we do all of the walking, feeding, playing, agility classes, obedience classes and the kids do none. I'm not too proud to say that it strikes me as 'unfair' that there is a different kind of affection for the kids (who are teens and adults - not small children). We do love it that she is so open to having strong relationships with so many people though.

 

[granite]

Hey you can roll with the pack but you have to respect the alpha....your dogs are telling you that you are a leader, not a littermate. Kids tend to get more of the rolling, licking, and what appears to be cuddling because the pup is showing their dominance over your kid...or trying to establish it. Kids sit lower in chairs and slouch down even further...if your dog gets on them to put his head HIGHER than your kids head its establishing its place in the pack order. Visitors will either be ignored or put through the same "now am I the boss of you or vise versa" treatment/evaluation.

 

[labgirl]

Regarding her reaction to other people or dogs, I think work on socialising and make a point of approaching people, dogs and saying 'hi'. The idea being you get in there and show that the person/dog is nothing to worry about. Some people even suggest saying 'hi' to everyone you pass as you walk to teach your dog it is perfectly alright for you to say 'hi' to anyone/dog you choose.

This is something you want to nip in the bud, because it can get worse, as a lady at my training club has discovered. Walking confidently, head up, striding briskly and not responding to nervousness by comforting the dog, is also a way for you to show you are in charge.

Dogs need a leader, it makes them happy. It isn't about dominance, they just need to know someone is in charge as this gives them security. 90% of dogs are followers, it is natural to them. But when a follower has not leader they are they try to compensate and often get it wrong.

Maddie needs to know that you are in charge in any situation, that you will protect her so she does not feel the need to protect you. To do this you need to project a calm, relaxed vibe. No tension going down the lead to her, and no fuss when she is growling or hiding. Be confident and cool and she will hopefully respond, and if she does not, do seek out a trainer/behaviourist as this is something you need to sort soon.

Good luck and happy walks!

 

[lotsahair]

Great advice thanks everyone! I like thinking that she respects me as the pack leader, that's why she's not always in my lap cuddling. She does follow me around constantly and lays under my chair at night while watching tv. She sleeps with the kids at night (no choice), and is just too small to jump on our bed on her own, but when we do let her on, after we pet her a bit and she calms down, she settles at our feet.

I have been working on her reactivity with people - she's not so much afraid as she is curious and wanting to get a good sniff at them. One or two sharp "leave its" and a yummy reward seem to be doing the trick. Also I do not allow her to "guard" me at the dog park anymore. First off, I keep moving around - I don't just park my but on the bench anymore. This keeps her moving, too. When she tries to sneak between my legs, I just move away. I also make a point of petting very briefly all the dogs that come over to us.

The other thing that is seeming to help a bit is walking around the dog park first before going in. I let her sniff all the dogs through the fence. I think this makes her feel more at ease when we do go in.

I'm not giving her "free petting" all the time, either, which I think is helping her appreciate it more when I do give affection. It's by far the most difficult thing to do, she's so soft and pettable!