Cooper'sMama
Forums Enthusiast
I don't have a Preference. My Catahoula Bulldog female (Spayed) is one of the sweetest dogs on the planet. My shelties are males and they are the most loving, sweetest and smartest dogs. 
Do you prefer male or female dog?
- Thread starter Mom2Melli
- Start date
I think personality is completely dependant on the dog itself, not gender, so from a bonding point I would say I have just as good a chance of matching up with either.
That being said however, I've only ever had one other girl dog before her, and lots of males, and although the males have generally potty trained I have always run into marking issues with them. Honey has by far been the best trained dog as well.
With those points I fully plan on sticking with girl dogs and sticking with working (preferably herding) dogs in the future.
That being said however, I've only ever had one other girl dog before her, and lots of males, and although the males have generally potty trained I have always run into marking issues with them. Honey has by far been the best trained dog as well.
With those points I fully plan on sticking with girl dogs and sticking with working (preferably herding) dogs in the future.
Shelby's mom
Forums Enthusiast
I have only had female dogs so I can't compare. But I did want to say that I also have MS and both my girls are/were very in tune with how I am feeling. Shelby is always by my side "watching over me" when I take medication, and Hollie did the same thing.
Neither were trained as a service dog for me but I am sure that they both would have stepped up to the plate if I would have wanted to train them.
However Shelby is the first female dog that I ever had that does mark. She is constantly peeing on our walks. I have never had this with a dog my entire life. When she was a pup she would pee everywhere she could smell Hollie! She has now learned that is not acceptable in the house.
Neither were trained as a service dog for me but I am sure that they both would have stepped up to the plate if I would have wanted to train them.
However Shelby is the first female dog that I ever had that does mark. She is constantly peeing on our walks. I have never had this with a dog my entire life. When she was a pup she would pee everywhere she could smell Hollie! She has now learned that is not acceptable in the house.
BarbV
Forums Celebrity
I prefer male Shelties.....
I find that become more mama's boys. Females can be more stand offish, and therefore appear more timid.
I've had 3 Sheltie boys, all fixed, but not a one has ever sprayed...in fact, they barely lift a leg to pee.
My next will dog will probably be a boy too.....
I find that become more mama's boys. Females can be more stand offish, and therefore appear more timid.
I've had 3 Sheltie boys, all fixed, but not a one has ever sprayed...in fact, they barely lift a leg to pee.
My next will dog will probably be a boy too.....
Laddie's Mom
Forums Enthusiast
For the service dog, I would prefer a female, they seem more "in tune" with the owner and not so easily distracted, I have seen Golden Retriever Service dogs, most are females, they are wonderful.
As to gender in general, or mainly in shelties, I guess I prefer the females, sure, mine is very hyper and barks a lot, but, she is also the one that clings to me and I like that. Laddie is more independent and likes Steve, which hurts as he is supposed to be mine for training, etc. Also, most males love to "water" every tree, this stops a nice walk consistently, my Laddie does not "Cock his leg" however, so that is good. Bella, on the other hand, is a good walker and does not stop for potty unless it is an emergency. Both genders are great, but I still lean towards the females for sweetness and obedience. However, Laddie has been fine, but there is not that "spark" between us that I have had with the females.
I think it all depends on each individual dog, whether it is male or female, the personality that suits you is the one for you.
As to gender in general, or mainly in shelties, I guess I prefer the females, sure, mine is very hyper and barks a lot, but, she is also the one that clings to me and I like that. Laddie is more independent and likes Steve, which hurts as he is supposed to be mine for training, etc. Also, most males love to "water" every tree, this stops a nice walk consistently, my Laddie does not "Cock his leg" however, so that is good. Bella, on the other hand, is a good walker and does not stop for potty unless it is an emergency. Both genders are great, but I still lean towards the females for sweetness and obedience. However, Laddie has been fine, but there is not that "spark" between us that I have had with the females.
I think it all depends on each individual dog, whether it is male or female, the personality that suits you is the one for you.
This thread has been THE BEST. It really got me thinking about my relationship with Melli.
Holly was my husband's dog but we had a working relationship because she was brilliant. However, she did not love me and I had her teeth in my too many times to love her.
Melli, on the other hand adores me, as a best girlfriend not mommy. Once I let go of the cute little "mija" (baby girl) concept and went for "amiga" (girl friend) we clicked well. Now, she really tries her hardest for me and I get the concept that one you earn your girl's respect they will do anything for you. She's still a pistol with Shay, but I think there is a social contract I don't quite get. She is "leading him" and "correcting him". Except for her food frenzy it works out fine.
Holly was my husband's dog but we had a working relationship because she was brilliant. However, she did not love me and I had her teeth in my too many times to love her.
Melli, on the other hand adores me, as a best girlfriend not mommy. Once I let go of the cute little "mija" (baby girl) concept and went for "amiga" (girl friend) we clicked well. Now, she really tries her hardest for me and I get the concept that one you earn your girl's respect they will do anything for you. She's still a pistol with Shay, but I think there is a social contract I don't quite get. She is "leading him" and "correcting him". Except for her food frenzy it works out fine.
Laddie's Mom
Forums Enthusiast
Wow, how do you get your dog to be your best girl friend, I would love for Bella to be that way. I think we have the potential for such a relationship, but I am not sure how to go about it.
I think that is awesome that you have such a wonderful report with your dogs.
This thread has been very interesting.
I have only had one female dog, and she was very standoffish. She would listen when I made her but she preferred to think she could boss me and the rest of the world around.
I've had three males back to back to back, and they've all been pretty different, so I can't say "all males are this way" or anything. My first was definitely a marker, my second was better but still interested in territory. My third, my current sheltie, has no marking issues, not even on walks. He only stops when he truly genuinely has to pee, and sometimes he will go a whole walk without peeing if he went before we left. I'm not sure if the differences between them have to do with the individual dog, the age I got them neutered, or both.
That said, this current dog is my best friend and I've never had another dog like him, he is calm, insightful, in tune with my moods and the moods of everyone around him. I am his "mommy" but also we are friends on a team- he connects with me and I with him. He respects me and I respect him. We have a lot of fun together and he is a very eager learner. The male I had before him was also extremely aware of his surroundings--if I was upset on the second floor of the house, he would run from the basement up two flights of stairs and scratch on my bedroom door til I let him in to comfort me. He did not do this at any other time.
I think it's hard to say that females or males are overall one certain way, but I do prefer males.
I have only had one female dog, and she was very standoffish. She would listen when I made her but she preferred to think she could boss me and the rest of the world around.
I've had three males back to back to back, and they've all been pretty different, so I can't say "all males are this way" or anything. My first was definitely a marker, my second was better but still interested in territory. My third, my current sheltie, has no marking issues, not even on walks. He only stops when he truly genuinely has to pee, and sometimes he will go a whole walk without peeing if he went before we left. I'm not sure if the differences between them have to do with the individual dog, the age I got them neutered, or both.
That said, this current dog is my best friend and I've never had another dog like him, he is calm, insightful, in tune with my moods and the moods of everyone around him. I am his "mommy" but also we are friends on a team- he connects with me and I with him. He respects me and I respect him. We have a lot of fun together and he is a very eager learner. The male I had before him was also extremely aware of his surroundings--if I was upset on the second floor of the house, he would run from the basement up two flights of stairs and scratch on my bedroom door til I let him in to comfort me. He did not do this at any other time.
I think it's hard to say that females or males are overall one certain way, but I do prefer males.
It was a process and varied with my dogs.
Quasar was my boy, my soulmate. I wouldn't say baby son. He was just the kindest old soul in dog form. He was therapy. He was love. Every person who ever met him instantly said "I love Quasar and I can tell he loves me".
To Holly I actually said, "Look you and I need to come to a working relationship. You don't love me, but I need to count on you to protect us so let's get along". I understood her hair-trigger and over time I counted on her as defender. She knew it. If she could have talked she would have told me off many a time, but when it came to protecting the house and the family, she was out in front teeth bared. She worked fantastically at anything my husband asked her to do. I always thought she would have liked to kill me and by my husband's mate. Scary thought. I did not exist when he was home. I was tolerated when he was not. I think I was the hired help -- the maid and cook -- in her mind.
Mayson was just a big bear. He was standoffish in a way. He adored his puppy raiser/first home, an old lady who went into a home. He was rescued and trained as a PTSD dog by a friend's aunt who trained them for placement with veterans. After I was attacked by a student and wasn't able to cope with it, she gave him to me and he had a calm, solid, defending nature. He was not my baby. He was my bodyguard. He was so proud of that. I forever thank him for being there while I healed. PTSD is not a great thing.
Shay I raised from a puppy and he is the first one we actually babied. He is our baby and our super special one. He is also very smart and learns something in 1-3 tries. Brilliant but very skittish. We talk to him like parent to child, both the husband and myself, and he fully understands a huge vocabulary. He's three but still has a lot of puppy to him.
When Melli came, it's been so long since Holly I forgot. She is our first little dog and immediately she became the babygirl. Only she's not. She's a spoiled, savy, manipulative, little diva. When we first did training I actually asked the trainer to watch us as a team and tell me why we weren't clicking. Something did not feel connected After this thread, I got it. She adores me as her best friend, not her mommy. She deeply loves me but it is an adult kind of friendship like with a sister or best friend. We have disagreements but I can't force her like a parent to child. I can show her and ask her woman to woman. She will do anything if I ask. Except the food frenzy. She loses her marbles twice a day. Oh, but she loves my husband as daddy. She wiggles and wimpers and licks and coos and rubs on him. He responds, it's not attention-getting to an ignorer, she truly sees him as daddy. However, my mistake was thinking "she's my little girl". She's not a black hole of love, or begrudingly tolerating me, or my protector and defender hired staff. She's my "sista". All I did was shift my thinking and stop trying to coddle and baby her. I started treating her like my bestest girlfriend. We butt heads but we negotiate. If I would describe our house it is me/Melli co-running things, my husband, Shay, and the cats which are pets. She handles Shay, if he doesn't come, she goes over and herds him. If he plays too hard she tells him enough. If he picks at her and annoys her and nips at her, she tells him to knock it off. She treats him like a child, an annoying one at that.
Anyway, as asked, "how do you get that relationship?". Let the boy be the baby, the son, the child, they seem to do well in that role for a long long time. The girl, just think of her as a best friend or adult sister. It makes a huge difference, even on some spoiled diva.
That's just my journey on this. Perhaps everyone else does it differently, but I had to really shift my thinking about this. I have said I never wanted another female after Hol and Melli. However, by the time I have to add a dog, which most likely will be Melli's loss as she is older than Shay, I might be at a place in life where I want a girlfriend and not a child. I also will never get another puppy. Shay is the only puppy I ever want to raise from the ground up. He's special to us. I like bringing in adults and going from there.
I will be getting together with my friend the lady with MS as she is going to go to dog class with me a couple times. I am going to talk to her about the male/female thing. Her son ended up taking a boy as his litter was just born and there were others who wanted females and only males were available, but I think it is a good fit for him. My friend and her husband, well, I can see that on some level it's not about vertical peeing or humping the guests, I can see a female click with her personality. She's first on the waiting list so she has her choice of male or female. She MAY not have a choice, but probably will. I will recommend IF she has a choice go female, if not, don't despair or wait for another litter. Leave it up to fate, if you will.
Good thread! It fixed what didn't quite click with Melli and I can advise my friend and can explain better the male/female dog dynamics.
Quasar was my boy, my soulmate. I wouldn't say baby son. He was just the kindest old soul in dog form. He was therapy. He was love. Every person who ever met him instantly said "I love Quasar and I can tell he loves me".
To Holly I actually said, "Look you and I need to come to a working relationship. You don't love me, but I need to count on you to protect us so let's get along". I understood her hair-trigger and over time I counted on her as defender. She knew it. If she could have talked she would have told me off many a time, but when it came to protecting the house and the family, she was out in front teeth bared. She worked fantastically at anything my husband asked her to do. I always thought she would have liked to kill me and by my husband's mate. Scary thought. I did not exist when he was home. I was tolerated when he was not. I think I was the hired help -- the maid and cook -- in her mind.
Mayson was just a big bear. He was standoffish in a way. He adored his puppy raiser/first home, an old lady who went into a home. He was rescued and trained as a PTSD dog by a friend's aunt who trained them for placement with veterans. After I was attacked by a student and wasn't able to cope with it, she gave him to me and he had a calm, solid, defending nature. He was not my baby. He was my bodyguard. He was so proud of that. I forever thank him for being there while I healed. PTSD is not a great thing.
Shay I raised from a puppy and he is the first one we actually babied. He is our baby and our super special one. He is also very smart and learns something in 1-3 tries. Brilliant but very skittish. We talk to him like parent to child, both the husband and myself, and he fully understands a huge vocabulary. He's three but still has a lot of puppy to him.
When Melli came, it's been so long since Holly I forgot. She is our first little dog and immediately she became the babygirl. Only she's not. She's a spoiled, savy, manipulative, little diva. When we first did training I actually asked the trainer to watch us as a team and tell me why we weren't clicking. Something did not feel connected After this thread, I got it. She adores me as her best friend, not her mommy. She deeply loves me but it is an adult kind of friendship like with a sister or best friend. We have disagreements but I can't force her like a parent to child. I can show her and ask her woman to woman. She will do anything if I ask. Except the food frenzy. She loses her marbles twice a day. Oh, but she loves my husband as daddy. She wiggles and wimpers and licks and coos and rubs on him. He responds, it's not attention-getting to an ignorer, she truly sees him as daddy. However, my mistake was thinking "she's my little girl". She's not a black hole of love, or begrudingly tolerating me, or my protector and defender hired staff. She's my "sista". All I did was shift my thinking and stop trying to coddle and baby her. I started treating her like my bestest girlfriend. We butt heads but we negotiate. If I would describe our house it is me/Melli co-running things, my husband, Shay, and the cats which are pets. She handles Shay, if he doesn't come, she goes over and herds him. If he plays too hard she tells him enough. If he picks at her and annoys her and nips at her, she tells him to knock it off. She treats him like a child, an annoying one at that.
Anyway, as asked, "how do you get that relationship?". Let the boy be the baby, the son, the child, they seem to do well in that role for a long long time. The girl, just think of her as a best friend or adult sister. It makes a huge difference, even on some spoiled diva.
That's just my journey on this. Perhaps everyone else does it differently, but I had to really shift my thinking about this. I have said I never wanted another female after Hol and Melli. However, by the time I have to add a dog, which most likely will be Melli's loss as she is older than Shay, I might be at a place in life where I want a girlfriend and not a child. I also will never get another puppy. Shay is the only puppy I ever want to raise from the ground up. He's special to us. I like bringing in adults and going from there.
I will be getting together with my friend the lady with MS as she is going to go to dog class with me a couple times. I am going to talk to her about the male/female thing. Her son ended up taking a boy as his litter was just born and there were others who wanted females and only males were available, but I think it is a good fit for him. My friend and her husband, well, I can see that on some level it's not about vertical peeing or humping the guests, I can see a female click with her personality. She's first on the waiting list so she has her choice of male or female. She MAY not have a choice, but probably will. I will recommend IF she has a choice go female, if not, don't despair or wait for another litter. Leave it up to fate, if you will.
Good thread! It fixed what didn't quite click with Melli and I can advise my friend and can explain better the male/female dog dynamics.
Cindy
Premium Member
I refer to Gavin as my little man 
I am definitely 'mommy', but he is not my baby.
He knows his jobs (guarding the house from the UPS man, walking me, getting the mail) and is very proud of doing them!
I am definitely the boss, and as he is not a huge people person (he prefers dogs), it looks to other people like he is completely 'my' dog. I just think we have a connection in that we understand each other after so much time together.
I've never had a girl pup (I've had 3 boys previously), but I have a friend who does. And she definitely runs the house and lays on the guilt trips to get what she wants. Gavin does manipulate me, but its much more limited and not a test of wills.
I am definitely 'mommy', but he is not my baby.
He knows his jobs (guarding the house from the UPS man, walking me, getting the mail) and is very proud of doing them!
I am definitely the boss, and as he is not a huge people person (he prefers dogs), it looks to other people like he is completely 'my' dog. I just think we have a connection in that we understand each other after so much time together.
I've never had a girl pup (I've had 3 boys previously), but I have a friend who does. And she definitely runs the house and lays on the guilt trips to get what she wants. Gavin does manipulate me, but its much more limited and not a test of wills.