I promise...

I could have written this Spring. It wasn't my first time to this trainers seminars, and I knew what could happen. Just like a train wreck, I did not look away. My dog was handled harshly and I bought into it, then regretted that I sold out my best friend in earth. Bobby would have never done that to me.

There was no lasting harm to our relationship (Bobby forgave me, and finally I forgave myself, I am only human) and there were no repercussions to our training. I learn alot, even through bad seminar experiences. I learned that when you tell the seminar giver you are having a problem, then you are basically putting them on the spot to fix it.

I still get excited about seminars, and the next one I've been eagerly waiting for, coming soon! I have a working spot with the puppy, Bobby goes as an auditor. I trained his errors, and I am the only one that can fix those.
 
Sigh. I think many of us have been there, done that. So, I hope you don't beat yourself up. Just remember to be strong and speak your mind next time. That's the best we can do for our little ones.


Dr. Shelli: I think I would've gone ballistic if someone did that to Miko. He's so "soft" it would've killed anything and everything in him. Too bad it wasn't Ember, that woman needed to be taught a lesson. ;)
 
Justicemom said:
I am so sorry. Many of us have been in situations where we allow things to happen that we later feel we should have stepped up and stopped.

One time, I had an OTCH handler come up to me after Justice went down on a sit stay in Open blowing a nice run and several OTCH points. She started off nice for a few seconds giving me tips on how to proof his sit stay. She told me to tell him to tell him to sit and stay, which I did. Suddenly she reached down and knocked him over onto the ground by shoving him in the shoulder hard and then she reached down grabbed him by the collar and yanked him into a sit and yell sit as she gave him another collar check. It took all of 2-3 secs. Told me this is what I should do to make him think about staying up. My mouth dropped open and I sat there in stunned silence for a few seconds and then I thanked her for her advice. The look in his eyes still haunts me and I am tears just thinking about it. I felt just as you do that I failed my best friend. I didn't say anything because she was a big time handler and who was I to say anything. It still haunts me.

There was nothing I could do to change the past. But I made a decision that day to never let another person touch my dog that way again. I don't do working spots at seminars for just that reason. Ironicly, this trainer saw Diva's puppy Coal this summer training and approached us for a future puppy from Diva. I gladly told her when hell freezes over and why.:biggrin2:

Please forgive youself, I am sure your dog already has. That is the great thing about dogs. Just learn from the experience.
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corbinam said:
Don't beat yourself up--the best thing that you can do is to admit that it wasn't in the best interest of your pup, and not make the same mistake again. It's great to post here to remind others to stand up for themselves.

It sounds like many of us have been in a similar situation. In fact just the other day I was at our agility club and I was speaking with a man with golden retrievers. I was complimenting him on his hunting awards that they had received and then made some joke about how no one could teach Bentley how to retrieve.

He had been kneeling down to talk to us and pet Bentley, and he said "Oh any dog can learn to retrieve" and before I had even noticed, he shoved his entire hand in Bentley's mouth and said "you just teach them to take things in their mouth like this". I just stood there dumbfounded. Luckily Bentley looked more confused than upset (he doesn't get upset easily), but if it had been Lexi I know she would have been permanently scarred.

I wish I had stopped him or said something, but I couldn't believe it, and then we just walked away.
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both those situations sound like it happened so fast that there wouldn't have been time to register what was happening in time to stop it.

will be attending our first seminar this weekend- with the pups. so I will be vigilant as to how things are going.
Callie did a seminar a few years ago but other than being told that she was fat- no lasting harm there. instructor should have seen her when I first got her:wink2:
 
I am so sorry that you had such a unsettling situation. What you wrote is a wonderful promise to your dog who I am sure has long since forgiven you. I have not been in this position but I can imagine how upsetting it could be. From reading this thread it sounds like you are not alone.
 
3stars, I am so sorry for your experience but thank you so much for posting this thread! I stood up for Pyper the other night in a much smaller way and let people think what they thought. Big step for me.

It's so important that we trust ourselves when it comes to our dogs. No one knows them like we do. We go to classes and training sessions where there are people with tons more experience or autority and that makes us vulnerable to their opinions.

We just need to remember....no one knows this dog like I do!!! I have been training Lexi for 3 years now and am just now realizing it's up to me to ultimately make decisions for my dogs. Thank you for reinforcing the concept!!
 
Thanks so much for the support, everyone. It did make me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who has found herself in such an uncomfortable situation. It was a real learning experience for me, and what I learned from that experience was probably more valuable in the long run than what I learned from the seminar itself. Now to prove that the specific skill can be taught in a positive, non-stressful way :-). That will be my winter project!
 
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