UCDX Redemptions Am I Blue UDX, GN GO PUD VER RM RAE
Justus was euthanized in the pre dawn hours Monday. After a wonderful weekend of walking in the woods in unusually warm and sunny weather, catching frisbees in the park, playing with Flyer and Seger.
It was two really wonderful days. Within hours of returning from the park on Sunday evening, the nose bleeds started again. Heavy bleeding and stopped and started every hour or so. I gave the emergency pill and the orange pill, Yunan B (I can never spell it right.) That usually helps, but not this night. I dozed off and was jolted awake about 4:00 a.m. with Justus choking on the blood gushing from both nostrils. He was having a hard time breathing. Cold compresses did not help. We have been dreading this since his diagnosis of canine nasal carcinoma on Nov. 2. I knew it was time.
We went to the overnight emergency hospital. We had gone there in October. I was relieved that no one but the staff was in the hospital. They took us into the euthanasia suite and quickly took Justus in the back to place the IV. I was masked, and very thankful that they would let us be together. He was brought to me and not wanting to wait, within minutes he was given the shots. I let my best boy go and it absolutely broke my heart. I hugged him through it all and laid on the floor with him a long time (I have no idea, maybe 10 minutes, maybe 30) until I felt he was no longer here.
I've been with all my dogs as they were euthanized. Each one a little different experience. Justus passed as peacefully as he lived, and with dignity, and loving me with his last breath. I will never stop missing my big beautiful "shollie" (50lb, 20.75") Tri boy with the fully fluffy white collar, intelligent, beautiful face and flashy paws. The one who made my life complete...
I know that all of you reading this have known this heartbreak.
In hindsight, there were signs I missed. The first nosebleed came July 6, in the morning after I fed him from a hard plastic frond, "slow feeder" I assumed he had cut his nose on that damned thing and threw it away. I took him to the vet to get it checked out. I was sure it was the slow feeder that cut his nose. The vet prescribed and antibiotic and said it was likely an infection. For three months I didn't think of it again.
He had another nosebleed, a little worse this time and we went to an emergency after hours clinic. The x-rayed, and told me it didn't look like cancer. I was relieved but asked for a referral to the veterinary teaching hospital. We waited three weeks and some days to get into UGA, where a CT scan showed extension of the nasal mass onto his forehead and evidence of substantial bone destruction within his nose and a portion of his skull.
He lived about the 90 days of his prognosis.
My lesson from this is, know your vet. Develop a relationship that you can talk to your vet about any unusual behavior your dog may exhibit. Going back to early last spring, Justus had begun sleeping in the guest room, away from Flyer and I. That was not like him, but I didn't think it anything to call the vet about. Well, about that time, he developed real bad breath, and I began brushing his teeth and giving him "breath bite" treats. It went away. Today I realize those were clear signs I should have had him looked at, and maybe or maybe not we would have discovered that tumor.
This is the 2nd sheltie I've lost to cancer. Bobby died of bladder cancer, TCC. My third sheltie, Flyer, is 6 years old. I'm frightened that cancer will take him too. So frightened that he will be on immune boosting mushrooms (turkey tail) and be treated as holistically as I can afford.
Hug your shelties, enjoy every single day we are given. When it's time, let them go in love and your heart will break. Let your friends help you through your grief. Take walks, drink water, be kind to yourself.
I want my Justus back, damn you cancer!!!!
It is normal to feel worried about your other pup, but the feeling will subside, I promise.
