My darling (human) girl....

Danny's mommy said:
Barb, I understand your pain too well. My sister committed suicide by pills and my father by a gun. I have never gotten over it. It has been hushed up and only two other relatives know how they died.
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I'm so sorry for the tragedy that you have lived through. We get all wrapped up in our fairy tale lifes, and we forget sometimes how harsh the world can be, when we deal with everyday squabbles.

For me, to speak out about it now, is finally my way of

1) getting rid of the guilt (what could we have done different?)

2) getting rid of the shame - there is no shame. It is what is. This was her choice, and not a direct reflection on me (that's a hard one to swallow!)

3) Spread the word....if speaking out about Michelle can stop one single person from taking his/her life, then at least she might have died to save a life.
 
Jaynie said:
I am so sorry. You and your family are in my heart today.

Suicide is the loss of only one person's life, but its after-effects reach farther than we can ever imagine. I lost my beloved in-laws in 1990 to a dual suicide. My (now-ex) husband was never the same after that - he was (and still is) a broken man.
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Jaynie, this is a truly tragic story. Hugs to you!

Of all the tragic deaths that occur in families, I have to believe that suicide is the most destructive of all.

There is so much guilt, shame, denial that is left behind to the families to deal with - it takes years to recover.

It's a little different for victims of accidents or illness. It's horrible, of course, to lose someone, but at least you don't personally feel responsible.....

It's taken me 4 years to realize that I am not responsible for Michelle's suicide. She made some bad choices in her life, and drug use was the worst. I remember a pysch telling me once that it is the smartest kids that suffer the most, because they never stop asking questions.

Michelle chose drug use to escape from the questions she couldn't get answers for. And it was the drugs that finally killed her.

Thanks for letting me speak out on this forum. I can only hope that if by sharing my experience, I might help someone save a single life, then its worth it.
 
Kelly said:
*Hugs* Barb, we all love you! :yes:
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Snort! Well, maybe some of the time! I know I can **** folk off sometimes, and sometimes I get pissed too...but I do believe there is something about this forum that reminds me of "family". I love mine, but sometimes they make me SO mad! :smile2:
 
Wow, I honestly thought this thread was about something totally different! Instead it's a beautiful tribute to SUCH a beautiful young lady. Gone way too soon Barb, thank you for sharing your son's heart felt tribute with us here :sadsmile:
 
Guilt is always the hardest emotion to let go in situations like this... even if the attempt is not successful.

My sister attempted suicide several years ago, so this is definitely a subject close to my heart. We all beat ourselves up for missing signs that she was so unhappy. It turns out, it was the antidepressants she was on, reacting badly to her meds for PCOS. She was, as you say, strung out on drugs... and they were prescribed to her by a doctor.

Drugs (whether takes as prescribed, or taken recreationally) can really warp our perception of reality. You are right... your daughter's decision was her own, and not a reflection on anything you did (or didn't do).

I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm thinking of you.
 
I am pleased that this day is past for you Barb; another year... We mark them in our minds and wonder why. I will always wish I had asked my brother questions, had seen any signs; But he was an adult and should have known to see a doctor.
I am better now and I too realize his passing was his fault, not mine. It still hurts. (And my birthday officially sucks anymore)
thoughts and prayers to you Barb.
 
Sending prayers Barb. It was a beautiful tribute that Ryan wrote.

As a mom that has also lost a child,although differant circumstances,how well I can relate.
 
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