Not going potty

B

Buffy & Trixie's Mom

Forums Regular
My problem that when I put my three year old girl out to potty (even when it has been five, six, seven hours) she won't go. Eventually she will go. After a few tries.

I let her out. Bring her back in. Then let her out again. Eventually, she will go. Now I am beginning to dread every time I have to let her out. She has become that unreliable. I am afraid it will be this way for the rest of our lives together.

Potty treats were suggested by someone on this forum. Those were mostly to get her to come back in after she potties. That works. I give them religiously, but she is very obstinate and even though (I know my dog) she must surely have to go...she won't go.....and if I am wanting to leave the house, I feel compelled to "get" her to go.

Picture this. A quiet mid-morning. No lawnmowers. No children playing. All is quiet. Just the crazy woman down the street saying, "Go potty. Go potty. GO POTTY!!" Dog runs to get back into the house. "NO NO NO -- GO POTTY. 15 minutes of this. Finally, "Ohhhhh. OKAYYYYY." I hate being loud. It isn’t an angry loud. Probably a frustrated loud. It is not the "me" I want to show to my neighbors.

My next door neighbor does not approve. He counsels me that I need to develop more patience with her. He lets his dog out and never knows for sure if his dog goes potty or not. Me, I want to know. I watch. He has not been through her what I have been through with her. He critiques me. I have told him that if he can't say something nice, or benign to just shut up.....and he told me he is going to call attention to any "irregularities" over here. (My telling her to go potty, go potty, go potty.)

I get annoyed. I have yelled at her, and when I feel annoyance and then yell at her, I lose respect for myself. It is not the "me" I want to be. Long ago, I drew a boundary that no matter how annoyed I might get at any dog, cat, person, I will allow myself toy yell, but never strike. This has worked well for me over the years.

Sadly, I think this is the way it is going to be for the rest of our lives together and that isn't the expectation I had at all. I don't want that. I don't want to dread letting her out. (I dread letting her out. I hold my breath until I see her get down and go potty. It makes me feel sick. How many times am I going to have to let her out this time? how many times tos ay, "go Potty." ) I don't want it to feel like a matter of life or death that she go. But it does. I want her to go out, go potty like my boy dog always has and like every other dog I have ever owned has, and then come back in. Business finished!!

I don't like feeling annoyed. I don't like getting annoyed. I don't like losing respect for myself for not being the perfect pet parent and just smiling and saying, "whatever" and smiling indulgently when she goes out and refuses to go even though it has been five, six, seven hours or sometimes longer.....

I thought I had this licked. I would leave her out at 4:30 am; 9 or 10am; then 2-3 pm; then 7:30-8:30; then midnight to 1:30 am (I write at night and sleep in shifts). It averages out to be about 5 hours between outings, except for the last time, which is never a problem. I guess she knows we are in for the night then (-:

Usually the outing at supper is the one most likely to fail. Or this morning when I had someplace I had to get to.

I never thought it would come to this.

I don't know that I want 10-15 years of this. Everything we do revolves around her going potty. Or not going potty.

She is 3. I think she loves me. She follows me around. Everywhere. I am her fourth home. She spent a good amount of time in a crate. I think I am the first person who really loved her, although her rescue mama was good to her and cared for her.
 
Mally has never been quick at going potty. I have always had to walk him.(never in the back yard, unless another dog is over) Now that he is older(11 yrs. old) and both Don and myself are retired, we drive to a local forest preserve once in the morning and once at night. Mally loves it there! He is able to pick his favorite spots to go. Lots of smells there. They have a trail we can walk on, too. He looks so forward to these walks (we don't go very far) but he still gets the job done! A couple times a day I walk him out front of the house for those "in between" pees. He has a few favorite spots to go here. But at the forest preserve, he goes right away. I hope you have a forest preserve by you. Perhaps, this idea will work for your situation. I hope so.

Note: She loves you, if she is following you around. You mentioned that your's is her fourth home. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening your home to her. Please give her a hug and a treat from us. Thanks.
 
Sorry, now English is not my strong point, so maybe I misunderstood something.

When Minnie was a little under 1 year, one day she would not do her business in our own garden either in our townhouse or on our large garden at the cottage. :no:

So I have to go with her about 3/4 hour in the morning and again in the afternoon, here she does her business, even though we are now in the garden all day she does nothing - only on our our trips.

Before we go to bed so we also need to go for a quick trip.

She is now almost 2 years and have always been cleanliness - without a single accident - so it's a small sacrifice I have to provide her. :yes:

Have you tried to make a routine and go for a good long walk outside your parcel ???
 
Yea, Tully is a pain to toilet too, maybe it's a girl thing - Deska will mark anytime he's asked. Actually, Tully poops more than she pees. She doesn't toilet more than 4 times a day, usually it's about 3 times - so maybe your girl doesn't need to toilet as much as you take her out. I know Deska toilets a lot more than Tully, but he also drinks a lot more than her.

I few of the things I've found with Tully - she really hates toileting around Deska. She wanders all around the garden looking for a spot to toilet with Deska following her around. Deska's been marking over the top of her pee and I know she hates it. So now I let Deska pee first and then hold him back while Tully wanders around finding a pee spot. She also just won't go out in the rain, so I have to drag her out on lead. I know she prefers to pee when hiding in the bushes (probably a habit from trying to avoid Deska marking over her pee) and she always walks around first before she pees. So we do a lap of the yard and then I take her over to the bushes. It's a pain when it's raining hard, but it does work. If I'm in a hurry, and I know I'm going to be out for a long time I actually take her to my neighbour's front lawn to pee (lucky I have an understanding neighbour). I think it's marking behaviour, but at least I know she's going to pee.
 
Since I am the "peecookie" suggester . . . it sounds like you have mistakenly treated "come". Perhaps that is useful as "come back in cookie" but there would be no harm in giving a cookie the second the dog pees. Follow the dog around and as soon as the dog pees "YES (or GOOD or click if you use one)" and give treat. Then you can call to come to the door for another cookie. Make a clear distinction between the two in timing and location. With Melli, we have been through enough training levels that a mark of YES or a click indicates correct behavior and my kitchen is literally just inside the door so we treat inside. However, in building the behavior there was a treat given as soon as the squat was over and right at the location of the squat rather than at the door or inside. It also helps they potty on gravel so I can see the resultant wet patch to confirm.
 
I'm very lucky. All my furkids go out in the morning and piddle and poop first thing (between 7 am and 8 am. And having a dog door helps (except in the evening -- the older ones are too worn out to use the dog door stairs and Beckon is afraid of the dark!).
 
My 2 pups only go out twice a day. Once when I wake up and once before bed. They will very rarely ask to go outside for potty at any other time, but they know to do that if they need to. The only other time they are outside is if I'm out there with them. They are also 3 years old. I don't think adult dogs typically need to go more often than that?

My girl will sometimes want to lay on the deck in the morning, she likes to lay in the sun. So it sometimes takes her longer to come in. Maybe that's a girl thing, I don't know. Maybe your girl is just going outside because you're letting her go, and she likes to go in and out (especially if she was formerly kept in a crate). She knows how long she can go without peeing, and she knows you are going to let her out a lot, so what's the rush (to her)? If you want her to go potty at specific times, you'll have to train that. Or don't worry about it so much, since she knows to go before bedtime?

I'm sorry for your anxiety. I have 2 Shiba Inu, so I know all too well what it's like to have a dog not do "regular" dog stuff that they ought to be doing, haha.
 
You need to go back to potty training 101. WITH A LEASH. No unleashed access to the backyard UNTIL she goes.

Only say potty once, take her to the potty area, no talking, no games, nothing until they go. This may take 10 trips on the leash before they go. No negative reinforcement. Oh and young dogs can hold pee for hours. My 4 yo goes three times a day. First thing in the am, 3 pm and 10 pm. That is it. Which reminds me the best time to reinforce this is first thing in the morning BEFORE breakfast (which ensures they come in at least).
 
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