Out of control Sheltie, especially when around husband

[OntarioSheltie]

Thanks for your comments.

LOL, I am lately in tears all the time I train him, I try so hard, and no matter what I do, it does not work. Of course, being so depressed and having a sad and depressed marriage is NOT helping. When I had my last Laddie, it was so easy for me, we were soooo bonded, but it is not like this with this Laddie, and it is a heavy weight on my shoulder when ever I try to train. I hope this harness works, the one I bought this past Friday, called "lupi" sucked, it did not help at all, so, hopefully, this "easy walk" will be better.

Hopefully, when I move back to the states in October with Laddie, things will change, he will not have Steve to run to, it will be just the two of us, so, I have more hope that we will get closer. Who knows. I am all befuddled right now, and just confused and scared, to be honest.

I'm so sorry for the stress and frustration this is causing you, you certainly have a lot on your plate.

Try to remember though, that Laddie can feel your stress and frustration and in turn, become stressed too. Training needs to stop the second you find yourself becoming tearful or frustrated.

Keep training down to 5 minute sessions and don't aim too high. Try to end on a positive note, even if you haven't accomplished much.

You want training to stay a fun experience for him, not something he's going to hate, which will make you feel even more hopeless.

I've been there, felt the frustration and seen what transferring it to my pup can do. But I was also able to slowly turn it around and make training fun again, once I realized what I was doing. Hang in there!

 

[Jess041]

Thanks for your comments.

LOL, I am lately in tears all the time I train him, I try so hard, and no matter what I do, it does not work. Of course, being so depressed and having a sad and depressed marriage is NOT helping. When I had my last Laddie, it was so easy for me, we were soooo bonded, but it is not like this with this Laddie, and it is a heavy weight on my shoulder when ever I try to train. I hope this harness works, the one I bought this past Friday, called "lupi" sucked, it did not help at all, so, hopefully, this "easy walk" will be better.

Hopefully, when I move back to the states in October with Laddie, things will change, he will not have Steve to run to, it will be just the two of us, so, I have more hope that we will get closer. Who knows. I am all befuddled right now, and just confused and scared, to be honest.

There were quite a few suggestions posted by members, so I guess I'm curious. What have you tried so far? What is Laddie's schedule on a normal day? I'm just trying to see if there's something we're missing as to why you're having such a hard time with him. And dogs can absolutely feel your emotions in stressful and frustrating times, and react off that. Children do the same thing. "Mom's upset, should I be upset?"

 

[Laddie's Mom]

I'm so sorry for the stress and frustration this is causing you, you certainly have a lot on your plate.

Try to remember though, that Laddie can feel your stress and frustration and in turn, become stressed too. Training needs to stop the second you find yourself becoming tearful or frustrated.

Keep training down to 5 minute sessions and don't aim too high. Try to end on a positive note, even if you haven't accomplished much.

You want training to stay a fun experience for him, not something he's going to hate, which will make you feel even more hopeless.

I've been there, felt the frustration and seen what transferring it to my pup can do. But I was also able to slowly turn it around and make training fun again, once I realized what I was doing. Hang in there!

Thanks for your encouragement. I am trying it in shorter increments of time, he still seems to show no interest in learning at all, but, like you said, he could be feeling my hopelessness, etc. I will try to have a better attitude for him, but, if they are really this sensitive, he will know I am "lying"

 

[Laddie's Mom]

There were quite a few suggestions posted by members, so I guess I'm curious. What have you tried so far? What is Laddie's schedule on a normal day? I'm just trying to see if there's something we're missing as to why you're having such a hard time with him. And dogs can absolutely feel your emotions in stressful and frustrating times, and react off that. Children do the same thing. "Mom's upset, should I be upset?"

There really is not a "normal" schedule. I train when I am alone and that way, Steve can not disturb him or distract him. I am trying everything the folks are suggesting, but I am not noticing any change in Lad. I am sure he is feeling my emotional rollercoaster now.

Let's see, his schedule would be something like this: He goes outside to potty when I wake up, he holds it so long, man, it is amazing. Then, he eats his breakfast, I let him play for awhile after, he loves to play with kitty and chase him, then, weather permitting and I am not hurting ( I have all kinds of issues involving pain in my back, arms and hips, so walking is not fun right now) we take a walk. When we get back, more play and I just let him do what shelties do. Oh, and if I am alone, I do 5 minutes of training, I am ashamed, we have not gotten past the "sit" yet.

I would love to join an obedience training group, but they are so far, and they seem reluctant to take someone like me who is about 2 hours away, but, I am still working on that as well, I think it would help so much.

It is so hard also when Steve does what I do not want as well. I mean, he thinks Lad should be out all the time, I do not, so, he lets him out, I bring him in, this can go on off and on all day. I just do not think he realizes how important all this is to me, and he is not into it like I am. So, I DO have a lot of upsetting issues going on, I hope they resolve when I move back to the states.

 

[Calliesmom]

don't "train" anymore- just play with him and have fun.
there are all kinds of games that are really training but will be fun for you and the dog..................

 

[melbell]

There really is not a "normal" schedule. I train when I am alone and that way, Steve can not disturb him or distract him. I am trying everything the folks are suggesting, but I am not noticing any change in Lad. I am sure he is feeling my emotional rollercoaster now.

Let's see, his schedule would be something like this: He goes outside to potty when I wake up, he holds it so long, man, it is amazing. Then, he eats his breakfast, I let him play for awhile after, he loves to play with kitty and chase him, then, weather permitting and I am not hurting ( I have all kinds of issues involving pain in my back, arms and hips, so walking is not fun right now) we take a walk. When we get back, more play and I just let him do what shelties do. Oh, and if I am alone, I do 5 minutes of training, I am ashamed, we have not gotten past the "sit" yet.

I would love to join an obedience training group, but they are so far, and they seem reluctant to take someone like me who is about 2 hours away, but, I am still working on that as well, I think it would help so much.

It is so hard also when Steve does what I do not want as well. I mean, he thinks Lad should be out all the time, I do not, so, he lets him out, I bring him in, this can go on off and on all day. I just do not think he realizes how important all this is to me, and he is not into it like I am. So, I DO have a lot of upsetting issues going on, I hope they resolve when I move back to the states.

I think you need to have a chit chat with Steve and tell him what you want for the dog. Not in a harsh way, but you both need to be on the same page. I had to do this with my fiance as he would do one thing with my dogs and they know a different way or I train a different way. Also, don't worry that you are still working on the sit. My parents boy is almost 11 months old and he knows nothing. Seriously. He does Agility, but obedience wise, he can't sit, stay, down, come nothing.

 

[Toffee's Mom]

......
It is so hard also when Steve does what I do not want as well. I mean, he thinks Lad should be out all the time, I do not, so, he lets him out, I bring him in, this can go on off and on all day. I just do not think he realizes how important all this is to me, and he is not into it like I am. So, I DO have a lot of upsetting issues going on, I hope they resolve when I move back to the states.

Is the dog is outside, alone and allowed to get into all kinds of stuff to practice behaviours you don't want him to do?
You may want to not do that. Try to have him WITH you more and get bonded
The dog if left alone to his own devices will to find ways to be entertained, again what others suggested in other threads, work with some crate training, teach the dog he can entertain himself by having all kinds of toys available, etc. Look up impulse control games as previously suggested, but above all don't leave him on his own.

 

[Toffee's Mom]

Well, it may have worked at the pet shop, but man, when I took a walk outside yesterday, he pulled just as badly as before, so, I have ordered a sturdier one called "Easy Walk" hopefully this will help. I have back and arm issues and any hard pulling turns my walk into a time of unhappiness, we shall see what happens when it comes. Mercy.

A front closure harness is an excellent idea, so the easy walk will help you be able to walk him, it doesn't negate training but it will help immensely. I am a firm believer in front clip harnesses now, after seeing the difference and working with some dogs where the owner simply couldn't walk the dog on leash for fear they have their arms pulled out of the socket.
Such a harness is a great tool

 

[Laddie's Mom]

Is the dog is outside, alone and allowed to get into all kinds of stuff to practice behaviours you don't want him to do?
You may want to not do that. Try to have him WITH you more and get bonded
The dog if left alone to his own devices will to find ways to be entertained, again what others suggested in other threads, work with some crate training, teach the dog he can entertain himself by having all kinds of toys available, etc. Look up impulse control games as previously suggested, but above all don't leave him on his own.

Unfortunately, Steve always has him outside, feels dogs should be out doors,. Well, maybe his Labs in the past, but not mine, this is getting serious, I keep bringing him in, but when I am not looking, he lets him out. Laddie DOES get into all kinds of mischief too, I think it is turning him into more of an unruly pet. I am trying to bond and give him toys, etc, but now, if he can not go out, he cries and acts "nutty" He is not fun anymore.

He does like his crate, at night, when it is his bedtime, he follows me to it and goes in on his own, so at least that is one problem we do not have.

 

[Laddie's Mom]

A front closure harness is an excellent idea, so the easy walk will help you be able to walk him, it doesn't negate training but it will help immensely. I am a firm believer in front clip harnesses now, after seeing the difference and working with some dogs where the owner simply couldn't walk the dog on leash for fear they have their arms pulled out of the socket.
Such a harness is a great tool

My dear mother always liked to use harnesses on her dogs, said they gave much better control. I will let you all know how I like the Easy Walk when it arrives, I have high hopes for it.