Piper’s vet visit

Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts. My mom was an amazing woman and it’s going to be a tough road for a little while but I learned a lot from her.
The dog’s are doing good except for Finnie yesterday. My brother in law brought over some clothes and stuff that had been in the car…one of the things was a bed jacket my mom had been wearing quite a bit in the hospital as well as an fall jacket she’d worn.
Finnie caught a whiff of her scent and started barking and acting very excited. I think he thought she was coming in the house…it was very confusing for him. He did settle down and I let him play on the jacket and smell it for a bit. He’s normal today.
Tomorrow will be busy as I have to make several appointments and I haven’t begun the obituary yet..on the plus side I did speak to my one sister and all is well…so far. lol
 
OMG... the obituary... step 1 I think in the grief process and of course at a time when you are numb. Take your time, have LOADS of kleenex near.

My oldest sis wasn't a fan of my mom.. baggage... she was there when mom died and wrote the initial obituary... it was so cold and lifeless and didn't portray the happy, bubbly, "I hug everyone" person my mom was before Alzheimer's altered her. I was beyond offended and dad was just in shock. I rewrote it, I sent it to my other sister who added some of her words to it. I was so proud to put my mom on paper... It was cleansing....

I find writing so helpful... when our son was in one place, we each had the opportunity to write to him... writing gives you a chance to release things that are deep in your heart. Enjoy the process even if it is hard.

When mom died, I read something about grief being like waves in the ocean.... sometimes waves flow in low and slow and tickle your feet, can often bring smiles, laughter with those good memories. At other times, the waves rush in and can knock you off your feet, leave you breathless, unable to get back on your feet. All of it is part of the process.

Many hugs from afar....
 
Sandy in CT said:
OMG... the obituary... step 1 I think in the grief process and of course at a time when you are numb. Take your time, have LOADS of kleenex near.

My oldest sis wasn't a fan of my mom.. baggage... she was there when mom died and wrote the initial obituary... it was so cold and lifeless and didn't portray the happy, bubbly, "I hug everyone" person my mom was before Alzheimer's altered her. I was beyond offended and dad was just in shock. I rewrote it, I sent it to my other sister who added some of her words to it. I was so proud to put my mom on paper... It was cleansing....

I find writing so helpful... when our son was in one place, we each had the opportunity to write to him... writing gives you a chance to release things that are deep in your heart. Enjoy the process even if it is hard.

When mom died, I read something about grief being like waves in the ocean.... sometimes waves flow in low and slow and tickle your feet, can often bring smiles, laughter with those good memories. At other times, the waves rush in and can knock you off your feet, leave you breathless, unable to get back on your feet. All of it is part of the process.

Many hugs from afar....
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Thank you Sandy…today is definitely a day when the waves are high…
Just doing things today like calling the hospital to have my mom released, picking up the will and making appointments. Grief has settled on me today very heavy.
I did go out and buy a new bed for the main floor so that gives me something to work towards and our football season starts on Friday.
I will have to meet with the priest, that will be difficult but maybe cathartic too?
Doing all these things just makes it more real.
 
Writing my Mom's eulogy was cathartic for me. Picking out music for her service was oddly humorous (scanning youtube for videos of different artists renditions of songs seem ludicrous right after someone dies....). The funeral home took care of most everything, expensive but what are you going to do?
 
Cindy said:
Writing my Mom's eulogy was cathartic for me. Picking out music for her service was oddly humorous (scanning youtube for videos of different artists renditions of songs seem ludicrous right after someone dies....). The funeral home took care of most everything, expensive but what are you going to do?
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the funeral home did a lot for my dad's funeral so it wasn't as hard on us at the time. we did have to make some choices but they really did a lot for us.
my brother and I got two posterboards and put a bunch of family pictures on them to display at the funeral home. we also had a dvd from our old family movies (we'd just gotten them digitized the previous winter) and had it playing on a loop. brought back lots of good memories
 
Calliesmom said:
my brother and I got two posterboards and put a bunch of family pictures on them to display at the funeral home. we also had a dvd from our old family movies (we'd just gotten them digitized the previous winter) and had it playing on a loop. brought back lots of good memories
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Oh memories... my oldest sister's husband did a video that played as folks were arriving. Unfortunately, he's really 'into' himself and the video ended up being pictures of him, my oldest sister, their kids and my dad with a few of my mom thrown in. I admit to being totally petty and at a later date went and counted pictures of my family.... there were 3-5 in a 30 minute video. My cousin, bless his sarcastic heart, told my BIL he didn't realize Bon (my oldest sister) was an only child. :ROFLMAO: Oldest sister did not want picture boards, but many folks who attended never knew her when she was all smiles and laughter before Alzheimer's started changing her and so my other sis and I did the boards anyway, in fact we did more than we planned on originally - laughed and cried and drank wine and pasted pics.... it was a good thing. :)
 
My SIL did boards of pictures for my Mom's 3 weeks in hospice at a local nursing home. sadly, there weren't very many pictures of my other brother and his kids since he pretty much didn't see her for almost a decade (his choice, hurt Mom terribly).
When my estranged brother did show up, the drama was netflix worthy (there was a physical confrontation IN my Mom's room -thankfully I got to them in the anteroom area by the bathroom-and I had to push my 2 big 6 foot tall plus brothers out into the hallway).
He left a digital photo thing...all the pictures were from 10 years ago. He also included weird inspirational sayings that were basically accusing us of being toxic evil people. My nephew figured out how to delete them LOL. Mom couldn't see them anyway since her vision decreased a lot. But it was highly stressful for my Mom's last weeks (not to mention he only cared about the money...he tried to get my Mom to give him more money on her deathbed and made her cry).

For her viewing, we brought a few pictures (including her glamour one from college). I was the social director for all her friends at the viewing (She had lots of bridge friends as she belonged to 3 groups). I was exhausted after that day.
 
We had our differences over the years but my brother drove 600 miles (one way) to see Mom on her last days. It was an isolated trip but he was in touch so it was not a look at me moment. Downside was it made Mom's day so much that I spent the entire day fighting with admin wanting to send her home. Of course after that burst of energy and happy she passed two days later. Some might have been bitter they were visiting while I was battling but for me it also was a gift to Mom that I know she loved. Sorry your kin let you down but focus on Mom not them.
 
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