scared gavins dotage is ending

I don't want to go home because he's not there.
Every room has a Gavin spot, where he had his dog bed, and even without the bed there my eyes go to that spot looking for him.
Cause that where he has been for the past 9 years since we moved in.
By my spot on the couch, By the front door, by my bed
 
It does. You will feel this way for a while; I felt exactly the same, every room a spot for the departed one, which brought fresh grief. For you it's extra hard because he was your only dog.

It will be slow, the sharpness fading with time. Having done intensive caregiving for two of my girls at end-of-life, (but not nearly as long as you) I can tell you that the sudden loss of routine and purpose makes it really tough. I felt adrift. Please reach out as needed, we are all here to help you navigate this. We're all feeling Gavin's loss but Chris just had the best perspective, he is healthy, safe and waiting at the Bridge.
 
I know you are hurting, you gave him the ultimate gift of love. You allowed the pain he was in to be removed. I also know that it's a lot harder on you because like me you only have 1 at home this time. We are social creatures and right now you can't grab a fluffy neck and cry.

I believe that my Miss April and Dewey greeted Gavin when he crossed the bridge and are showing him the ropes.

Right now it's great to remember all the things you two did together and he knows you have so much going on with your Mom , car and other things.You have such a huge heart. The last thing he would want is for you to not continue the journey.

When my guys walked across the bridge I promised to remember them always. The way I did it was by sharing their things with my next family member. They knew I had room in my heart to give someone else a good home without forgetting them and by doing this that somebody would be looking after me too.

Teddy really drew the short straw with my mobility decreasing but he does a fantastic job and he uses bowels and leashes that belonged to them, so I remember them every day.

I hope you can find your path to continue the journey. I realize what was right for me might not fit everyone.

Just remember everyone here is here when you want to talk . I am not as eloquent as some but in my own defense remember I am male. I wish you the very best as your journey continues.
 
Last edited:
Sharon and Ron have said it well, Cindy. It takes time but you will eventually remember the good memories, like how much Gavin enjoyed being at your mom’s. I’m so glad you were able to take him on that trip.

I think it’s doubly hard when we lose a dog with medical challenges. All that time you spent caring for them leaves an even bigger gap. There’s no easy answer to filling that. Many of us have been there and understand so don’t hesitate to vent, talk, or remember with us. We are here for you. Sending you hugs and love.
 
Aww Cindy, I so feel for you right now. The loss is always there with you but the pain lessens over time. I would suggest you take some time off work…the loss of a pet especially one as great as Gavin is just as difficult as the loss of a person. Gavin was the most loved dog and he’ll be missed greatly by all of us here at Sheltie Nation.
 
I don't feel guilty about putting him down. I just miss him sooo much. I never thought what it would be like for him to not be around, even though I knew it was coming.
Ever since his cancer, we have been more bonded. Even more so since Covid. After a year of thinking he could die at any time cause I couldn't believe he was still around, after how he did on the trip I convinced myself he would make it another 6-8 months.

His surgery was a mistake, but If last nights vet could tell he had a huge stomach mass by feeling him I wonder why none of the other vets I went to said anything. And that includes the emergency vet at Mom's about his chest bruise, since that would have been a big red flag. She even dismissed internal bleeding. I also need to give away 35 lbs of dog food, I just cracked open a new bag. and 6 months of sentinel (just got a refill).

I can't even think about another puppy until after Mom's surgery. Although it has been mentioned to me I would have better luck with breeders in MO/IL than CA (there are a lot more in the midwest). I just know that another puppy will never be as gentle and sweet as Gavin. I tried to find a big stuffed animal to hug, but all of them are pretty standard mutts or golden retreivers. I have thought of getting a custom stuffed animal made from his pictures, but those aren't huggable.
 
Honestly I think a lot of us felt like Gavin would just keep going. It seemed nothing kept him down for long. I know he enjoyed being at your Mom's, hanging out in a yard, being with you all the time. That was special time for you both even though I know you were run ragged with taking care of both your Mom and Gavin.

It's so normal to go over everything to see if something would have changed the course of this event. I am known to do that myself. But please don't beat yourself up about decisions you made. You made them in the moment with the best information you had, and with Gavin's best interest at heart.

You will never have another Gavin. But I do hope you will eventually, when you are ready, have another Sheltie to love. :hugs
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top