Socializing a shy/fearful dog

trini

trini

Forums Sage
She-u,

I am posting a method that I have used multiple times with fosters who came in terrified of humans either due to lack of socialization or from mistreatment. Hopefully it may be of help to you for working with your little Benjamin...and hopefully others will post who have different methods of helping a dog get past fear of humans.

When a pup shows real fear of humans it is important to take the socialization process slowly. Do you have a friend/s or neighbor/s who is/are good with animals and would be willing to help you? If Benjamin is food motivated and you have someone who is willing to be a helper, try the following approach. (The message you will be working to get across to Benjamin is that good things happen when he is not afraid of getting near to people.)

1. Give some really yummy treats (tiny pieces of meat or cheese) to the person who is helping you and ask them to kneel down several feet away from you and Benjamin...if Benjamin freaks out have them move even further away until you see Benjamin calm down and be comfortable with the distance.

2. Have that person hold our their hand with some treats in it...ask them to have their body turned slightly to the side and not to make direct eye contact with Benjamin, not to reach for him if he comes near and not to make any sudden movement or loud noise. Direct eye contact from someone a dog don't fully trust can be read as a challenge by that dog...especially one who is fearful...this is also true with aggressive dogs.

3. Very slowly walk with Benjamin toward the person with the treats...praise him softly for every step closer he is willing to go. If he starts to show that he is becoming uncomfortable...stop...never push him beyond his comfort zone. Progress may be slow, don't get frustrated...he will feel your upset and you don't want anything negative associated with trying to approach a person.

4. If the treat enticement is enough that Benjamin is willing to go up to the person...remind them not to reach toward him and continue to not make eye contact...they need to remain still and speak very softly to him. Praise for a frightened dog should always be soft and low key...but praise is very important so he knows that what he is doing is really good.

If Benjamin won't even take a few steps toward the person holding the handful of treats out to him...back off and try the following approach:

1. Lay down a path of treats (spaced about 6-8" apart) from where you are going to stand with Benjamin all the way to where your helper is kneeling down with treats in his/her hand. (BTW Don't feed Benjamin before you work with him on this so that he will be hungry and more motivated to get to the treats).

2. Give Benjamin a treat from your hand so he knows the treats are something really special and then tap the first treat lying in the treat path, saying something like "look Benjamin" or "OK Benjamin"so he knows he has your permission to get that treat...repeat if needed as you walk down the treat path and praise him with for every forward advance.

3. Again, make sure your helper knows not to make eye contact and not to make any sudden noises or movements as Benjamin is moving down the treat pathway.

4. Watch Benjamin closely for any signal that he is becoming uncomfortable and the instant he shows that he is at the end of his comfort zone...stop...praise him for even the smallest progress and never show disappointment.

His fear of humans isn't going to go away overnight and he may never be a dog who seeks attention from anyone but his own person/family...but if you can help him get past his real fear of humans he will be a happier little guy. Some shelties are ultra reserved and basically want nothing to do with people they don't know and trust...and Benjamin may be one of those. He will still be a wonderful and deeply loving companion for you!

There is a book that I love that addresses ways to help a shy/fearful dog become less afraid and tells stories of dogs and their owners who have made that journey. If you can find this book I definitely recommend reading it. Title: Help for your Shy Dog Author: Deborah Wood

Trini
 
Thanks for posting Trini. I have not had a Sheltie that was that fearful but I see how the suggestions would be a great help.
 
Hello Trini, thank you so much for starting this thread for me. Really appreciated.

The floor we live on has 6 flats, two other neighbours have dogs too but unfortunately we do not know them well enough to ask them to come and help, Benjamin have seen them before but of course he was very nervous when he saw them.

We actually invited some friends over on the weekend thinking we could help Benjamin. We deliberately met outside on a play area and we and our friends chit chat a bit and Benjamin was just kind of walking around us, then we went home (the reason we did this because a few weeks ago a friend came by and he barked non-stop so we thought this time lets meet outside first!), we all walked into the flat first and then let Benjamin in, all the friends sat down on the sofa chatting away, Benjamin was fine at first and I thought "wow, that is fantastic!". We then placed some treats nearby our friends legs and asked him to go and eat them, of course he hesitated, but he went to eat in the end and quickly went back to us after eating them. Until all of a sudden one of my friend stood up, he became very alert and started barking, and that was bad because it sounded so aggressive which I've not heard before but my husband had. He barked and then moved back to his room and came out and barked again, this carried on for about 10 minutes and we had to hold him up.

When he became a calm, we fed him with lunch, again we put his lunch bowl near our friends legs, and asked him to go eat it, he went but instead of going very near to his bowl, he stretched himself to reach the bowl and ate it. Once finished, he was kind of ok, but my friend got up to go to the toilet and he followed her and barked, that made my friend really scared and that in return had scared Benjamin. We had to hold him up again.

When he calmed down again, we put him down on the floor again and we gave him his favourite chew and he started chewing on it, it was getting better then, but unfortunately my friends had to leave otherwise if they could stayed longer I think Benjamin would be able to let them pet him.

He loves going to grooming. He likes the girl there, we took him there on the weekend, he was nervous and kept on grabbing onto me and was snapping on the girls hand but I was told I had to leave otherwise he will just be nervous. So I left, and as soon as I walked out he was ok and then all that 2 hours there by himself, he was good (so I have been told). When I went to pick him up again, he didn't want to leave and wanted that girl to hold him.

Only a few person (other than me and my husband) have touched or hold him. When we took him out for walks, people always say he's cute and wanted to come closer to him, but he turns away, and if we were holding him and people wanted to touch him he would push people's hands away. Quite funny to watch actually, like a little child.

We took him to the puppy socialisation class, it was a course of 5 weeks, each week one hour, during that 5 weeks, the trainer did not touch him nor did she go near him, she didn't involve him in exercises because she kept saying he's nervous, so Benjamin was kind of just watching for the whole 5 weeks. But in the final class the trainer did come over and touched Benjamin's hand, but he snapped her, it was very gentle though.

We take him out for walks twice a day, I think he's getting better but it has been really slow. i.e. there have been a few areas/corners where he would not walk, he would just stood still, but now he just walks pass them. Not sure why though, we think it might be because those corners always have too many cars and people. When we used to walk pass these automated gates, he would hate it and again would just stood there and not move, now he's fine. Something really weird is, when he sees people standing still, he would also stand still and not wanting to go forward, half the time we have to carry him. I don't know how he categorise human, during his walks, sometimes he's afraid of people walking towards his direction and sometime he's not, sometimes he's afraid of groups of people and again sometimes he's not, sometimes he's afraid of just one person, but again sometimes he's not. When he's afraid, he would stand still and wait for the people to pass first, when he's not then he would walk really fast to pass them but there are times when he just walks normally to pass them.

He never barks outside except two nights ago, the same night where we had friends over in the afternoon, we took him out for a walk and then there was this guy where he walked passed Benjamin and looked back a few time, Benjamin also looked at him and started barking on him. That was the first time ever.

He's very alert, every few steps he walks he has to turn his head back like if he's checking if anyone stalking on him (quite funny).

At home, he is very playful and very obedient, a very loving little thing.

Hopefully soon he will come out of this. Me and my husband know this is going to take time and we are prepared for it. I so want to show you guys a photo of him trying to hide himself in a shop, but I don't know how to upload photos here.

We will try your steps below. Again, thank you so much. Will keep you posted.
 
You are obviously working really hard on this. :smile2:

From reading your post a couple of things come to mind. When someone moves suddenly, it sounds like Benjamin's response is borderline fear aggression...he is saying that he feels threatened and he is trying to warm them not to hurt him. Sudden movements are very unsettling to an insecure dog. As silly as this may sound, try the following:

1. ask your friends to let you know when they are going to stand up and move so you can get Benjamin ready...and ask them to move slowly when they do move.
2. put Benjamin on lead right next to you so he knows you are there to protect him if needed...don't pick him up as this tells him that there is something he needs to be protected from...which is exactly the opposite of what you want to convey to him.
3. talk to him..."it's OK Benjamin"...continue talking in a soft voice as your friend moves to where he/she is going... continual praise to Benjamin if he doesn't bark or lunge.
4. if he does bark or lunge...a firm but low key "no"...and move back until you are far enough away that he is no longer freaking out...initially it may need to be all the way into another room before he feels safe.

On his feeding next to friends...it may be too soon to ask him to eat his meal right next to someone he doesn't yet know well and fully trust. His hesitation and pulling back are his way of telling you he is not yet comfortable with this. Treats from others are OK, but don't force him to eat his meal in a situation that isn't stress free...and he may never be comfortable with eating right next to anyone but family members...that is OK.

Outside, Benjamin seems to be "judging" people and being comfortable with ones he reads as being dog friendly. Shelties are extremely good at reading people and knowing who is a potential friend and who is not. Praise for anytime he walks near someone without a negative reaction. The man who kept looking back at Benjamin made Benjamin nervous...direct eye contact...Benjamin obviously read something in him that was negative.

We know a couple of non-dog people, who my husband worked with before he retired, who come by to visit once in a while. My dogs instantly know that these people don't like dogs and they won't go near them...yet with people who are dog people they are ultra friendly and seek attention and to play. I never push them to go to people they are not comfortable with.

I think it is really important to not let people approach Benjamin at this point...let him always be the one to make the move toward them IF he wants to. Puppies are cute and everyone wants to touch them...but if you put yourself into your pup's place you wouldn't want a total stranger to come up to you and touch you...and a shy pup feels exactly the same way.

Gentle hugs to your Benjamin. :smile2:

Trini
 
Such great advice Trini. Also glad to hear how hard you are working to take care of this fearful pup.

I have a fearful and fear aggressive shepherd mix. He got worse and worse as he aged despite all the training and experiences I gave him as a little one. He just couldn't overcome his feral birth, joining me at 3 months after all the optimal time ended, and some really terrifying freak experiences that we encountered. He has certain evironments he loves and others that are beyond him. We control his world as best we can so he can live a happy life.

Keep working with your baby. It will be well worth it.
 
Just want to share some updates on Benjamin. A friend came by last week and of course no eye contact with Benjamin, the friend sat down on the sofa and Benjamin started barking away, so the friend threw carrot to him and he started eating them but was keeping a distance, one kept throwing, one kept eating and barking. I had to held him up, but he wouldn't stop barking but it was less though. So after 10 minutes, we took Benjamin back into the room so he could calm down.

After about 1 hour we took him out from the room again, he barked a few time, and I held him up and he stopped and was just looking around...I guess he calmed a little bit.

Yesterday we asked our niece to come over, Benjamin only seen her once about 2 months ago but it was with loads of other relatives so not sure if he remembers her. We took Benjamin outside to meet her up, and then walked back home together. When we got home, my husband held him and me and niece (Sophie) walked in together and then my husband and Benjamin. Sophie sat on the sofa and husband put Benjamin down, he didn't bark, he was looking around. So Sophie threw him some carrot and he started eating them, he still kept a distance but it was like only 3 ft this time (last week with the friend was like 8ft away), so he kept eating and eating. Once carrot all finished we thought he was going to bark, but he went to Sophie and started sniffing her shoes, clothes etc. As soon as Sophie make a slight movement, he backs away, then he goes back again.

So we gave Sophie some of his dog food, Sophie held it in her hand and Benjamin just went and eat it, the first few times, he was quite nervous, he stretched himself to reach for the food. After a few, he went more closer to Sophie and what was amazing was, he was listening to Sophie giving him commands, i.e. Sophie was able to ask him to sit, paw, down, up, etc, he did them all for like about 10-15 mins. Me and my husband were like "wow....!!".

But after that husband saw him getting a bit tension, so we put him back in the room with his favourite food.
Sophie then went to the room to see him, but she only stood by the door, he barked once, not loud, then stopped and carried on eating.
So we all went out for food and left him in the house, when we came back, he poop'ed in the cage, first time in months. We thought may be he was nervous... :sadsmile:

But hey, still we think he did a great job.

Sophie will be coming over again tomorrow so let's see what Benjamin will act like then. :rolleyes2:
 
That is a positive update...Benjamin is making progress. :smile2: You are doing well watching his tension level and removing him the instant you see he has reached his limit and needs a break. Keep up the good work.

Trini
 
Just want to add another idea for you.

Higher levels of activity also builds confidence in a dog. So before he is going to meet anyone take him for a walk to build up his serotonin levels without over doing it (you don't want him hyper).

Another idea is to have a special toy. The toy signifies confidence and also offers a redirect This is the method I used for my shy dog when she was to scared to leave the house. For her I used a toy called the Kong 'Air Donut" it's a fetch toy that rolls along the ground and hooks into their prey drive. Of course I had to teach her fetch too. First you increase the value of the toy. So have extra special over the top play time with lots of cheers and praise and treats (if he isn't food obsessed). But make sure at the end of every play time you put that toy away where he can't reach it. And don't over play with it. When you see he gets really excited when you pull that toy out, you can start using it at shy times. So start small - start by you playing with it when a guest is there. If that works fine pass the toy to the guest to play with him. Eventually the plan is you can take that toy with you to redirect his focus in all types of social situations.
 
Hi all, it's been a while. Thought I might give some updates and of course love to hear advice from you all.

About my shy/fearful/nervous/timid dog Benjamin. He's now 8 and half months old. Not sure if the situation is worse of better.

Benjamin now walks much better although there are certain areas where he is still very nervous about, i.e. the hall way in our building as he just won't get out of the lift, we tried by having either myself or my husband to take a lift downstairs first and greet him when he comes out from another lift, this had worked for a couple of days then back to normal again, that was quite daunting….and the road outside where there are many delivery trucks (because we have a supermarket right next to our building and all day long they deliver stocks). For these areas he would sit still and not moved and we have to pick him up. Other than that, he's fine, he walks but still sometimes turns his head back to check on things, but it's a lot less now.

Also not sure why but he loves going into the Vet's clinic when we walk pass, he's had so many injections in there and still liking the place. Previously when he goes in, he's either hide himself in a corner or climb up to the shelves where they stock the pet supplies, now he explores the place and a lot of the time he just will not leave, and we had to carry him out. (Though sounds like he's exploring the place inside, but he's still a nervous when there are human and dogs in there, but it is much better)

He loves going to the park and be off leashed, he would run and run until a person or a dog approaches him then he will bark or sometimes growl at them…is it because he think his space is being invaded?

He's recently having this aggression attitude towards dogs and sometimes human, especially when they come and approach him. We reckon it maybe because he's now built up a bit more confidence and given he's not been socialized well in the past so he's not sure what to do when he comes close encounter with other animals and human. He'd bark, sometimes even growl. Sometimes he'd pull back after a few seconds, sometimes he just won't stop and we had to pull him away, not every time, not every dog, he's better with small dogs and also still dogs. It's when the dogs come after him in a very fast pace, a couple of times we actually saw him trying to nip at the other dogs.

He's still very timid and very scare of human especially men. Not sure why but we think he may have had some bad experiences with his previous owner before we brought him home at 8 weeks.

Benjamin is such a lovely dog when at home with me and husband, he's very playful and obeys to our commands. He's very sweet, at times he would just come and lick on us with no reason, but outside, he's another dog.

We have had a trainer to help correct Benjamin's behavior, but the progress is quite slow, nothing to do with the trainer, part of it is me, am a nervous person myself so that's why we are making a slow progress.

Any tips on how to stop his aggression towards people and dogs? I have read some articles and watched some youtube videos but wanting to see if anyone has any advice for Shelties.

Thanks
 
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