Cayman's Passing
Dear Friends,
Cayman's nasal tumor erupted early on Saturday morning. He laid to rest in my arms at 6am in the emergency room. It is in his honor that I share this with you.
Cayman was my first and only dog. A Christmas puppy in 1997 from my partner, Michael, shortly after I graduated from Smith College as a clinical social worker. My partner struggled with alcoholism that left me feeling lonely. He blessed me with Cayman. A sable sheltie who had been shipped to Anchorage from a puppy mill in Missouri who was barely six weeks old, had huge eyes and was nearly bald. With love, his coat blossomed and he grew to be a strong, handsome and magnificent being. Little did I know the effect he would have on my life or the lives of so many.
In his first year, Cayman would go with me to visit patients in adult daycare centers who were too depressed or demented to speak. He would jump on their laps and give them kisses to make them smile. Some centers made special doggie treats for our visits. The seniors took great pleasure in making him do little tricks for treats. Cayman loved to perform. Some years later, while working a summer program for seriously emotionally disturbed children, we had Cayman Day every Thursday. Cayman helped the kids to work together, to be quiet, to play safe and to feel loveable. An 8 yo boy who refused to talk, learned that it was safe to talk with Cayman, and on our departure, would hold Cayman and whispered, "I love you so much, Cayman, please come back." Earlier this year, Cayman helped me in the primary care clinic where I work with the homeless. When clients would cry, he would tuck his nose in their legs and they would smile. For a few minutes, they could pet his softness and remember that they must not be so bad after all. After a few visits to the clinic, he started to act like he owned the joint and staff treated him like my little assistant. He helped everybody to relax and to enjoy the moment.
Cayman was and will always be my beautiful Prince, master teacher, play mate, and noble protector. He changed my life. Life will never be the same, and for now, I am feeling very lost without him by my side. Like him, I must muster the strength to move forward and to find joy even in this pain. Just as he did over these last three months as he played "Stick" in our field of clover and daisies. No matter how much he was bleeding or how badly he was congested, he loved our nightly walks with the "stick." I hope I can be as strong as he was, and find some pleasure in the everyday.
I am grateful for all of you and to the Sheltie Forum. Your support and heartfelt words give me comfort. I am deeply moved by all of your prayers. I do believe your prayers helped Cayman to live out his final days without too much suffering, and helped me to be strong. I am particularly moved by my dear friend, Christine, who has been my rock through all of this. I feel honored to be able to call her my friend. She is a woman who possesses profound grace, courage, compassion, generosity, humor, intelligence and spiritual wisdom. Knowing her in this short time has had a profound impact on my life. May I live to be the kind of friend to her as I am confident she is with so many others.
Blessings to everyone,
Eryn and Cayman
[email protected]
