I love my girl, but this reactivity is draining

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bmorgante

Forums Novice
I've got Mira from a shelter when she was 9 months old, wound up there because she was found as a stray and the family that found her tried looking for the owners but couldn't keep her.

The first time that I took her for a walk around the shelter before I brought her home, she reacted to a passing dog on-leash. This is where some of our story begins, I suppose.

My boyfriend and I have worked through a few issues with her, she was territorial with spaces and toys, wasn't crate trained and had separation anxiety. We have overcome all of this 100%.

I'm still having a really difficult time working through this reactivity. It's draining and stressful for both myself and my boyfriend. I'm a worrier through, so I find it's very hard for me. We put Mira in agility last October, but noticed when we weren't in the ring she would bark her head off - she needed to be going, going going. It was a so-so experience for us with that trainer.
We have tried everything we can to try and make up for lost time with her socialization. I can't count the number of dogs she's gotten into altercations with at the dog park or people's dogs we knew (NEVER has bitten or caused ANY harm, just a lot of noise. I need to grab her and pull her away to stop. She'll be too far gone). There are dogs that she is indifferent towards, and dogs she's met that she LOVES. Including my landlord's Great Dane (!) and my parents Golden. I admit that I wasn't as educated as I am now with shelties and training, and I wish I did some things a lot differently when we first got her.

Last october we also fostered an Aussie mix for three weeks. I feel we were really able to hone in on Mira's anxiety during this time, and the last week they were wrestling and playing beautifully. Mira now is able to show displeasure with a growl to other dogs off-lead rather than going from 0 to 60 and not showing any signs of displeasure. This is a huge step. She's not a fan of other dogs in her face, or staring at her.

On walks, dogs and stray cats will set her off. She's better with squirrels ha. Even if we are across the street - 50+ feet away. And it takes a very long time for her to settle down. She lunges, jumps (on her hind legs) barks, everything.

We finished four weeks of obedience training, and she has everything down beautifully. We started a new agility class. And we are playing the "look at that!" game with the other dogs in the class and utilizing the "settle!" command on a blanket (and at home). The trainer recommended the book Control Unleashed which I am currently reading. We bring a wooden spoon with peanut butter on walks, try walking in the other direction. She is extremely intelligent, and does wonderful under threshold. She's good in the house and is a great listener.

I'm at such a loss, I'm hoping maybe it will get worse before it gets better. It would be reassuring to hear stories from others who were able to get through this :(
 
Unfortunately, I don't have a reassuring story because my dog is very similar, but I can certainly sympathize with you. I have even hired a trainer, thunder shirt, natural and prescription medication. Nothing has significantly helped.

I purchased my dog from a breeder when she was 10 weeks old and did all the puppy classes, socializing, training, but it didn't make a difference in her reactivity as an adult. She was a fearful puppy, so I'm sure if I didn't socialize her, she would've been even worse.

I wouldn't take your dog to a dog park, especially if she's gotten into altercations. You want to limit as many bad experiences with dogs as possible. It will set back any positive progressive you've made.

I can tell you that my dog has gone from barking at dogs across to street down to only barking at dogs when they're within 5-10 feet of her. Of course, I always carry treats on me when I walk her and reward her for her good behavior. If a dog is about to pass us, I stop and drop food on the floor, so my dog is focused on that instead of the passing dog.

I'm sorry I'm not much help, but I do I understand how draining it is. To be honest, there are days where I just want to give up and re-home my dog. It's a struggle, but just imagine what kind of life your dog would have without you. Not ever owner would be as much effort into her as you do.
 
First, I think you need to think about what you have achieved, which sounds to me an awful lot. Take a moment and be pleased with how far you have come:smile2:

These things take time, a lot of it. They involve both you and your dog learning new ways of dealing with situations. My friend has two reactive dog, surprisingly one is a Labrador. She has been at my training club, in the special 'growlers' class, about two years and is at last seeing real progress. Her dog will never be a typical dog-friendly lab, but he is getting much easier to walk.

I wish you luck on your journey and I really think you are doing good.
 
Oh, I so sympathize with you! Our 8-month-old Sammy has been very reactive to dogs on leash, people walking by, bicycles, strollers, cars (anything with wheels), children running and playing in their yards, etc.

I would sugges that you keep your dog away from the dog park. Not all dogs do well there, and I think that's OK. She has a couple of dogs that she likes to play with, so just let her enjoy herself with them. To me the dog park is like throwing a person who has anxiety attacks into the middle of New York City.

What has helped Sammy (or actually me!) is getting good advice from a trainer. I was walking him around our busy neighborhood expecting him to be able to handle all the various stimulants just by forcing him to sit and giving him treats. This was a mistake. I needed to understand that he has a threshold beyond which he will react, but if I keep him back from that threshold he will have success. So I have stayed away from busy streets. When I see something approaching that would make him react I pull him back from the street and as soon as he notices the stimulant (whatever it is...person, bike, car, dog, whatever) and does not react, he gets a click and a treat. The key is to keep the dog back from his or her threshold. As time goes on the threhold point will decrease. Sammy can now walk by people or yards with children playing and not react at all. And he is doing so much better with cars. As soon as he sees one he will scoot himself back into someone's yard and wait for his treat. We can even cross the busy street (which we must do to get to our favorite park) without incident. But we practice every day, several times a day, and always at a time when there is not much activity in our neighborhood.

Now squirrels...and crows...that's another story! They seem to be irresistible, and I don't have the trick that will cure that one yet!

I know this is very difficult. I have cried many tears over this. But time and patience and training will bring improvement. When I went to Reactive Rover class the first thing the trainer did was to pass out a little bag of chocolate because she knew we all needed comfort! You will have good days and bad days, and soon more and more good days. Janet
 
I have some of the same issues with my Sally, and like you we have come a long way, but still have a way to go...I look at it this way, Sally is sweet and very much a pleaser and a delight to be around. She has the run of the house because she can be trusted not to misbehave or get into anything or eat anything. i can trust her with my grandkids. She lets us know if anyone is on our property(her job) and if the cat gets on the counter(also her job). Never any toileting issues. She has learned to behave on walks and no longer barks or lunges at cars or other dogs, BUT if she is on our property she goes over the top very fast if someone is walking/skating/biking by, and she barks and kicks dirt and sneezes at the 2 danes next door. She is terrified of them if they come close to her. There are dogs she loves and others she just tolerates just like your girl. I would prefer her to act otherwise, and will continue to work on this stuff, but I can accept her as she is and sometimes she just cracks me up with this. Other times, not so much. I don't take issue with Sally if another dog is being rude-staring is a challenge and rude in dog languge, so is rushing up in a dog's face if permission hasn't been given by the dog. The offending dog has initiated a fight by doing so. You can't always change the ones you love but you can change the way you feel about them. As others have said you have come very far with your girl- you should feel very proud. You aren't alone with the issues you have- many sheltie owners have them too and find themselves with a barking ball of fluff, spinning and lunging on the end of their leash. Makes me smile just thinkin about it...:cool:
 
I wonder how much of this kind of behavior can be attributed to the dog having learned that the only way he can get anything is to be assertive. I'm reminded of a story that was told me by a co-worker. His sister-in-law, a welfare queen, had two young children, and lived with her "boyfriend." My co-worker was determined to get these children away from a very bad situation, and ended up getting custody of them. He told me that the first couple of weeks they lived with him and his family, he noticed them sneakily "stealing" scraps of food from the dinner table. Upon further investigation he discovered that they were taking these food scraps and squirreling them away in their rooms. At first he was puzzled, but then the answer became obvious. When living with their irresponsible mother, they were never certain when the next meal would come. Consequently, when food was available they had taught themselves to store some for the "lean" times when Mom and her boyfriend had spent all the money on drugs and alcohol. (I nearly wept when he told me this, and I'm not a sentimental sort.)

Little doggies are no different. They quckly learn what they need to do to survive in a bad situation, and I think, oftentimes that leads to bad behaviors when finally they get put into a good situation.
 
Sounds like you have one truly lucky pup. It takes special people, those with great patience and understanding, to continue to work as you have. Good work!

I would suggest you try a Thundershirt. My Olive wears one to her training club, and while it is not night-and-day difference, it does have a definite calming effect.

Olive is the most reactive sheltie I've had. If I've learned anything from her, it's that it takes a combination of factors, building over time, to achieve success. I can't rely just on the Thundershirt. I use the shirt, treats, quiet time, gradual exposure to new things, etc. On their own, none of these is particularly useful. It's the combination that accomplishes the work. And Olive's progress has definitely not been overnight. But that's what it's like for any of us with reactive dogs. There are no guarantees except that with time and work, you will make progress. How much progress, well, every dog is different.

As far as your walks go, I would say that if your dog is reacting to other dogs, you are not far enough away. Obviously there is only so much you can do - other dogs might come closer to you, stray cats come out of nowhere - but you can reduce the possibility of coming near other dogs. Walk in low-traffic area, during low-traffic times of day. If you are able, consider areas to which you may have to drive. A quiet trail in a nature preserve/park can be a great place to work with your dog. Obviously there are wild animals to watch out for, but you can get away from the "people stuff" (cars, sirens, other people/dogs, etc). Many dogs I know, Olive included, notice all the nature stuff but for whatever reason are nowhere near as reactive around it as they are around manmade structures/noises. Bonus is, it's more relaxing for me, too.
 
I understand how you're feeling, it can be really draining to deal with.

My female is also reactive towards other dogs. Does it get better - I guess it does and she has gained confidence with age. So while she barks at most strange dogs she really only worries if a dog gets close. The distance at which she barks at another dog has reduced over the years - she'll be 6yrs old soon. I've also got a 'special needs dog' (with chronic joint disease) who just loves to bark so it can be exhausting when they both play up.

When it gets too much I put the halti head collar on. It gives me some peace as she can't react with the head collar on - heck most of the time just showing the head collar to her or putting it on for a short time is enough to calm her down. When she was younger there were times if I hadn't had the head collar she wouldn't have been walked - her reactivity was just that bad.
 
I really can't thank everyone enough for your responses and sharing your stories. I was honestly so touched reading every one. I have been doubtful about if this will just improve or if it will continue to be this way..but I now know that it CAN be done! I have full motivation to work through this, and I will give an update - hopefully soon! :smile2:
 
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