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It didnt kill me but it sure wasnt funny and shouldnt have been laughed at. It is inappropriate and disrespectful. It was an nq. I wasnt upset about it. But I am not going to be the butt of a joke because someone never taught people better than to laugh at someones failure.
I grew up being bullied, and people laughing at me on a daily basis. Because of people being rude and finding people the butt of a joke i had a miserable time growing up. I will not tolerate it as an adult. I expect when I am in the ring not to be the source of someones entertainment. If they cant behave like decent human beings they dont need to be there.
No I dont have thick skin. There is a reason I dont do conformation but I am not going to be told I should just be okay with it because there are rude jerks out there. It is not okay and they need to see that it isnt acceptable to behave like that. After the life I have had I am not going to put up with it. They will think before they choose to make someone feel lousy about a mistake next time. Agility is supposed to be fun and it is not fun when people act out like that.
In my opinion, allowing people to be rude just trivialises what they have done and makes it okay. It is not okay. One person shouldnt be making the other feel bad about a mistake. We all already know when we mess up. We dont need others to rub it in.
 
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They can only make you the victim of their insensitivities if you let them. I wasn't there and I believe you when you say the actions of these people was very upsetting but you can only control your own response. I don't know what the AKC stipulates about exhibitor behaviour but the CKC writes their rules to include it and retaliating against morons can end up with you being the person that gets suspended and a fine. I choose to let their actions speak for themselves and would have given a smile as if it were a private joke. It takes the wind out of their sails, so to speak, and shows you to be the bigger person to all the others present. Stop thinking of it as giving in to the bullies because unless you do, they will continue to be able to hurt you and you will be demonstrating a vulnerability that will give them power.
 
I am not as thick skinned as I want to be but it is one of my goals- to see and absorb what I want to see and not let anything else in environment affect me and my performance.
Have not seem many who wanted to give me unsolicited advice, guess this one already perfected:lol:
If I am lucky and my teacher is competing at same trial he is very positive person and his is only advice that counts:smile2:
and my dogs love me anyway whether I dropped the phone line of communication or not ...although they do prefer clear lines:biggrin2:
Generally I do not know what is happening outside of the ring as it is just my dog and me, I tune out everything else and love this feeling.
My another big goal is to do my run in such way that if you do not know the course you will never know I made mistake. Not because of people watching but because of my dogs. They never do anything wrong and they would not understand my emotion of upset over off course etc.
 
I don't know SheltieChe, but it seems like you have a pretty good handle on the "random, unsolicited comments" thing to me.

SheltieChe said:
I am not as thick skinned as I want to be but it is one of my goals- to see and absorb what I want to see and not let anything else in environment affect me and my performance...

To me, that is the goal to have. I will never be as thick skinned as I want to be, but I rarely allow folks to see that they have gotten to me. I will not give them the satisfaction. In turn I find that fewer things bother me.

If I am lucky and my teacher is competing at same trial he is very positive person and his is only advice that counts:smile2:...

I consider constructive criticism offered by a well meaning individual as a positive input. I can accept almost any input that is offered in that vein. (Quite frankly, all others can pound sand!!!)

and my dogs love me anyway whether I dropped the phone line of communication or not ...although they do prefer clear lines:biggrin2:...

Sounds win-win to me.
Click to expand...
 
Given it was just brought to their attention that it is rude to laugh at peoples mistakes, I doubt there was anything to write me up or suspend me for. As angry as I was, I did say something to them tactfully.
It's a nice thought that it would do more good to just ignore it. I've tried it before. Believe me, being the one bullied who had no friends throughout my whole childhood, I tried every tactic I could think of to make it stop. Ignoring it never did me any good in life. They just took it as weakness and continued right on doing it. It wasn't until I learned to stand up for myself that it got better. Why stop if no one says it isn't okay to behave like a rude jerk? My hope is that they think before doing it to someone else.
 
IMHO, I agree with the article ONLY because too many people get upset at the littlest things.

I am very competitive. Anyone who has been here long enough to see me go through my agility career, should know that. In general (not agility wise), I dislike being told what I did wrong and I dislike being made fun of..with a passion. HOWEVER, I have also learned that this sport should be about bonding, learning, and having fun. How many people hate the sport they play, because they no longer enjoy it?

I pushed myself hard. Pushed Koji to get better. Went to what, a trial every two weeks for almost 1.5 years? Spent a fortune....all so I could progress and get titles and ribbons. Then Koji's contacts and start-line stay fell apart and I had to go back to retraining. It was very hard to walk off the course, even harder to walk off at the start-line. The competitive side of me NEEDED to run, NEEDED to try to get that dang Q.

But in the end. I learned how to laugh at my mistakes, but not take them lightly. I trained and I fixed them. I learned how to laugh at my own mistakes. But I worked on my handling. I would hear people make comments, especially when I was walking Koji off a LOT!!! Some supportive, some negative. I had people telling me I was doing the wrong thing, but truly, what do they know? Even if a top trainer saw me in that one run, what do they really know? I would hear them out, say thank you for the feedback, and decide what I could use and what I could throw away (just like I do on any message board).

All I can say is this. I am grateful for all the feedback I got in NADAC. UNSOLICITED feedback mind you. They helped me learn so much and I am eternally grateful for it. But then again, many times in NADAC, people aren't mean spirited about things, just technical or very supportive. In AKC, I tend to see more mean spirited people....probably due to the competitive nature of the venue.

It seems like people are heading towards the extreme ends.....either they feel they can tell anyone anything in anyway (rude) or we have to handle them with gloved hands (baby them). Is tactfulness becoming a rarity or what?!
 
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