Chris
Premium Member
Look, you're a FANTASTIC Sheltie Mom -- but even the best Moms sometimes have kids with issues. Hang in there, be patient, and it will work out. We'll be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Anti-anxiety Medication
- Thread starter OntarioSheltie
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OntarioSheltie
Forums Celebrity
With Toby the way he is, its impossible for there not to be stress in our house right now, but the main source of anxiety is from Toby, not me. I've been feeling frustration for sure, mixed with some guilt and a bit of depression, but not anxiety. I think I've been pretty good at keeping my feelings under control and have been very patient, soothing and understanding with both Toby and Ginny, because I know how fragile they are right now. I've suffered from severe depression in the past and know what it feels like, so I know that I'm not in a state of mind right now that requires medication, but thanks so much for thinking of me in that way and suggesting help. This forum (and my Mom), are the main places that I vent, I try never to vent at the dogs. Misplaced frustration would only make things SO MUCH worse.
Ginny's anxiety has been getting worse, just like Toby's. Although she's always been sensitive and a bit high strung and nervous, this was never an issue until we got Toby. Ginny suffered a severe setback the same day that Toby did (both were traumatized when I accidentally exposed them to a flash mob/band), and since Ginny has been urinating each time Toby gets upset. Since medicating Toby things seem to have started improving with him, but now Ginny has had this apparent breakdown. I don't even know how to handle her, since she's scaring herself and working herself up, there's nothing there to de-sensitize her to or work with her on.
Thanks, I need all the prayers I can get.
Cindy
Premium Member
Dogs can be much more sensitive to their surroundings than we give them credit for. I've seen lots of reactive dogs that have neurotic owners. Now, we know that's not the case with you, but poor Toby definitely could be rubbing off on Ginny. after just one night with a friend at her new apartment (former neighbor whose Great Pyr pup gavin loved and visited all the time) who is ADD, Gavin was not acting normal AT ALL. She even said he bit her (I'm thinking nip type bite as she said it didnt break the skin) while she was petting her. I've never seen anything like that from him before nor have friends who have had him for a few days here and there. The atmosphere in her new place was just such that he had no idea what was coming or going or who was boss.
I normally sponsor a few dogs and/or groups in sheltie rescue as I wander around cyber space; I'd be more than happy to sponsor Toby's meds for a month. send me a PM.
Cindy and Gavin
I normally sponsor a few dogs and/or groups in sheltie rescue as I wander around cyber space; I'd be more than happy to sponsor Toby's meds for a month. send me a PM.
Cindy and Gavin
Katherine
Forums Enthusiast
Just catching back up with this thread and reviewing what has happened. Melissa, I am glad that you did have a conversation with the rescue folks and know what to expect time-wise with seeing Toby's response to meds.
My hope for you is that your vacation will provide a needed break for everyone ! This might also provide a great opportunity for you to do some calming work with both Ginny and Toby on mats, with thundershirts, DAP, essence of lavender.... and give you "mat work" to take back home with you.
I, for one, certainly applaud every effort you are making with your situation, which sounds very tough.
Danny's mommy
Forums Enthusiast
If my Danny had seen and heard a flash mob scene I think he'd have gone into temporary psycho mode.(me with him). Ginny is like my second sheltie Pal ... Real sensitive. I was reading about Jedi a sheltie up for adoption on Mi. Sheltie rescue. They say he would do well on a farm as the city noises, foot and car traffic is just too much for him. Being highly energetic he needs big spaces and something to do to get rid of all of that energy. So some shelties do better in a rural environment. I am sure you will do what is best for all. You are a good mom. P.S. Take care of yourself too.
OntarioSheltie
Forums Celebrity
That is such a nice thing to do and such a generous offer. While the cost of Toby's medication will definitely make things more difficult for us, I know there are groups out there that need the money more than we do. I wouldn't feel right accepting the money. We'll make due, we'll just have to make some cut backs. Thank you so much for thinking of us!
tentcamp
Forums Enthusiast
Two dogs were easy but when you throw a third in the mix the reactive one gets everyone else going. Not only Shelties are contagious but reactivity is contagious! It's hard I feel for you....
BarbV
Forums Celebrity
Like Katherine, I'm just catching up on the thread.
Melissa, I think your vacation is well timed. You need this break to put things into perspective and decide what is best for your and your dogs.
I know you are a "high achiever" so you have high expectations of your pups and more importantly of yourself. You need to get over that! You should not feel that every setback of your dogs is a setback for yourself.
You've done a wonderful thing by taking on Toby, and you've got the strength to do it. But it takes time. You are doing all the right things - talking to the right people and asking all the right questions.
But ultimately, you need to look at your own personal quality of life. You won't be any good for anything if one dog is draining you dry. And you have your own health to consider. Don't let guilt drive you. You can rehome Toby if need be, but at the home of your choice.
I know I seem to making an arguement to rehome him. I'm not really...I'm just saying that its an ok solution.
Hugs to you!
Caro
Moderator
Since medicating Toby things seem to have started improving with him, but now Ginny has had this apparent breakdown. I don't even know how to handle her, since she's scaring herself and working herself up, there's nothing there to de-sensitize her to or work with her on.
Poor Ginny, times have been tough for her, dealing with Sadie's illness last year and now Toby's reactivity, she is definately a sensitive little dog. I have had a similar problem with Tully (not as bad tho). She never had problems with loud noises and thunderstorms but being around Deska's noise sensitivity has worked her up. She now hides under the table and starts barking. But I have worked out her hiding under the table is actually to get away from Deska, and the barking is in response to Deska's anxiety rather than the noise. She sometimes even starts the barking at the noise but if Deska doesn''t join in she will settle down. And if I take Deska out of the equation she will settle down straight away.
I have learnt that you can only deal with one dog's issue at a time and separately. But its hard because while I am focusing on calming Deska down Tully gets ignored. Often I wish I had someone that could take Tully aside and focus on her while I am dealing with Deska's anxiety. Instead I usually try to redirect her while I work with Deska.
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