Good-ish update on my Katy!

Cindy said:
people here were the ones who got me through it (my friends were great, too, btw, but they didn't know what to say).
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@Cindy, you'll appreciate this story.

I don't really have friends in real life. The closest thing that I have to friends is a couple that owns a restaurant that I go to all the time, and even though we hang out a few times a year I'm 100% certain that if I stopped going to their restaurant then the friendship would die immediately.

Well, a couple of weeks ago they invited me to their New Year's party. I usually go, but this time I told them that I couldn't because I wasn't comfortable leaving Katy alone. I told them about her health issues and how I had been force feeding her, etc. They seemed sympathetic.

Then Katy passed. On December 30, mind you... one day before New Year's.

I kid you not, the first thing they said was, "so now you're coming to the party, right?"

Cindy said:
I was an emotional wreck for months
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Losing Bane (my beagle rescue) had been the hardest for me, in part because it was pretty sudden, and in part because he was sort of a special needs dog and I know he couldn't understand what was going on. It's been 3 1/2 years, and I still cry when I think about it.

Losing Katy, though, has been a million times harder than losing Bane! I'm seriously just lost.

Everyone talks about me getting another dog, but I just don't think I can do it. I have had 8 major deaths in the last 5 years (both parents, all 5 pets, and my father in law), my heart just can't take any more :'-(
 
I am so sorry to read of Katy's loss!

I have not been on due to the holidays, a virus I picked up, just got on this morning to catch up on the last 5 or so pages. I am so sorry. You gave so much time, so much attention, so much care.... I can only imagine your heartache.

Our 4 legged friends give so much of themselves to us... I don't think anyone in my life has loved me with the same devotion that my pet friends have. Parents, siblings, spouses - they love but they also get irritated, angry at times... 4 legged friends never do, they just love unconditionally at all times with every speck of energy in their bodies. Those that loved, lost and loved again may think it is 'kind' to speak of another pet mainly because they know from experience that even though the heart breaks terribly, when the time is right, we always find a new corner of our heart that suddenly appears for that new love to fill up. My heart has never 'healed' from losses - I still cry over the ones I've loved and lost. Instead, my heart grows and opens up and I've found a new space to love the newbie while never forgetting or replacing the lost love. Katy will never leave your heart, she is forever a part of you and you of her.
 
OMG Jason....your story about the restaurant people is gobsmacking. Clearly NOT dog (or any animal) people. Yikes!

I get your anger at the test results and your vet. My first Sheltie, Scruffy, many years ago had a nosebleed the week before she died. I took her to my then-vet to check her. He ran bloodwork and did an exam and, like yours, told me nothing was wrong. Less than a week later she had a huge seizure and was paralyzed. I took her to the emergency vet and they found a large internal tumor. I had to put her down that night. It was horrible. How could my vet not have known, or seen some indiciation a scant week earlier? Like you, I was furious. Not that I could have saved her, but what good was he? I changed vets and never looked back. The vet I've had since is 40 minutes away but wonderful, thorough and caring. I don't blame you for being angry.

I hope you'll open your heart to another furry friend eventually. Any dog is lucky to have you. It will never replace Katy, but will help you heal. Unfortunately, losing them is the price we pay for the love and joy they give us. :cry:
 
Sandy in CT said:
Those that loved, lost and loved again may think it is 'kind' to speak of another pet mainly because they know from experience that even though the heart breaks terribly, when the time is right, we always find a new corner of our heart that suddenly appears for that new love to fill up.
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My wife said something similar about our other losses. When Pepper (the Chihuahua) died, she leaned into the kitties more and it helped her get through it. When the kitties died, she leaned in to Katy. But now there's nowhere for her to lean.

For the last year she's pushed and pushed to get another puppy, implicitly for that reason. I had to keep pushing back, though; I just didn't think it would be fair to Katy to have a puppy in the house, taking attention away from her at the end. And I'm still grieving over the other losses, I just don't enough heart left for another pet. Maybe in a few years? I dunno.

I try to be practical, too (I'm a Virgo if you can't tell). I'm dangerously close to 50, so I probably have 2 generations of pet left before I die. My dad died and left a 7 year old boxer behind that had 0 training and no one wants, though, and it kept him from being able to go into assisted living at the end. I don't want to be in that position, so if I wait too long then I might just have 1 pet left before I die. It sucks to think about, but none of us live forever...
 
I would be upset as well. I suspected all along she had much more going on than a problem with prednisone. Don't beat yourself up. Your vet should have been MUCH more proactive. Having answers, even if bad news, is just much easier to deal with than uncertainty and false hope.
 
Ann said:
My first Sheltie, Scruffy, many years ago had a nosebleed the week before she died. I took her to my then-vet to check her. He ran bloodwork and did an exam and, like yours, told me nothing was wrong. Less than a week later she had a huge seizure and was paralyzed. I took her to the emergency vet and they found a large internal tumor. I had to put her down that night. It was horrible. How could my vet not have known, or seen some indiciation a scant week earlier? Like you, I was furious. Not that I could have saved her, but what good was he?
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My FIL had colon cancer. For reasons known only to him, he refused surgery and chemotherapy so he faded quickly.

Then one day he went to the doctor, who said that there was no sign of cancer! The family was ecstatic!

He died about a week later.

Like you, there wasn't anything that could have been done either way so it didn't really matter. But we were all braced for the end, then we were told that it was gone so we all took a deep breath! Just to have it snatched away again :'-(
 
Gavin was my special boy. we went through surgeries, cancer radiation, and increasing mobility issues with his rear leg. I nursed him through a few internal bleeds (didn't know it at the time, but there was hand feeding with a syringe and carrying out to potty). I molded my life around caring for him, although I never really though it was that much more work than before. He was always so sweet and gently. I drove him 2000 miles to my mom's for her cancer chemo (and back to CA, he was amazing). He had a bleed there, we went to a vet and they missed it even though he had a huge bruise on his chest and his blood tests came back normal. he passed 2 weeks after we got back home he was laying snuggled on my chest and 6 weeks after that vet visit.

I choose to remember his chilling in mom's huge backyard in the sun for hours, slowly moving around the yard and eventually up to the house when he wanted in. And the moments snuggling on the couch. He was the sweetest and gentlest dog. I was a wreck, crying at the strangest times. Then I was back to my Mom's for her surgical recovery. She was home for 72 hours and then in and out of hospitals and nursing homes until she passed 3 months later.

Pico came home 17 days after she passed. I thought it was too early, really I did. But the only local breeder (and that is 90 minutes...the next closer is 7 hours) had a puppy. I wasn't sure, and he was sooo small (Gavin was a bigger boy at 34 lb), but he was cuddly and sweet at the breeders. Took me over 2 weeks to find a name, too. But I was too distracted with potty training to wallow in my grief over Gavin and Mom. And I had a little snuggler to hold on to when I had moments (and still do), but they aren't as overwhelming.

Pico will never fill the Gavin sized whole in my heart (hey, he's only half a Gavin at 19 lbs), but he definitely makes it feel less like a gaping hole. Only you know when/if it's right for you to get a new puppy. But I am amazed at how much joy Pico gets out of everything that it brings a smile to me everyday. I think I appreciate that more than with Gavin because of what I lost (and found).

*hugs*
 
We got Katy from a local "breeder" (I use quotes because it was really an older woman with two AKC Shelties in her home that she loved, and she sold the puppies). Pepper passed in October, and Katy was born in February so we put a deposit on her.

Like you, I thought it was WAY too early! I was still grieving Pepper, and was still waking up at night because I was positive that I could feel her pulling the covers and wanting an upsy! But Melissa really needed something. We had Bane, but he was obviously mine and she didn't even really like him.

I was almost stand-offish with Katy for awhile because, honestly, it felt like loving her was somehow betraying Pepper's memory. And on a subconscious level, I can see now that I was really guarding my heart.

I don't know. This is the first time we've been completely petless in 28 years! Right now I'm thinking that we should spend this year traveling, and maybe revisit the idea of a new pup next year.
 
@Cindy , your story sounds so familiar! It seems like I've been going through that same emotional roller coaster for the last 5 years... lose a beloved pet, then lose a parent, then have to choke it all down because you have a new pet? All day long you don't know whether to laugh or cry, and you can't sleep at night because you don't know whether you're happy or depressed. I hate that roller coaster, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through it :'-(
 
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