Refuses to eat

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mmcginty said:
Yes! If mom had to go to assisted living I doubt they'd let her keep any dog, that's the darkest irony. my presence is what enables her to keep them. I don't want to have to issue an ultimatum, but it may come to that. I usually don't just roll over and switch up foods, for one thing I have to deal with their stomach upset from not doing gradual change-over. That is never fun. Plus I'm trying to keep things sustainable. But Jake has lost 4.5 lbs in 6 months, his ribs are becoming prominent. I'm in desperation mode now. Yes he's not that old but his life is going to end if he doesn't eat!

And I just figured out as I was typing, I'm causing much of this, I've gotten angry because they aren't behaving normally, they've been extremely disruptive and I tell them to stop, it's soooo frustrating to have them explode a dozen times a day, they have NEVER been like this before, but they think we're under attack! And they're right, we are! And then I can't help but resent that they're trying to leave me on purpose, way, way before I'm even close to prepared for it, it's going to destroy me, it will literally f'ing destroy me -- OMG OMG... i'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU, i CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN...
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I am so very sorry you are going though all the stresses at once. Being overwhelmed is obvious. When my mother was ill I ended up in a stressful situation as well.
Taking g care of an aging parent is bad enough. Worries about your beloved shelties causes your heart ache to become so profound it is hard to fathom.

The hospice worker told me to stop contacting my mother for two weeks so I could recover. When she told me that I burst into tears! Someone cared enough about my well being and a huge weight was lifted for me. I had a sister and brother who stepped up. I say all this only for you to understand you must take care of yourself too.

From an outsider looking in... It seems like giving Amanda back to the breeder is the only sensible option at this point. Saying you are on your last thread is an understatement. Under the circumstances and the situation you find yourself in... rehoming offers one less stressor in your life.
 
Your distress just leaps off the screen and no wonder. This is not a workable situation for you. And that is a huge amount of weight loss for your dog so no wonder you are frantic. I would research alternatives to your physically being there for your mom. Research in-home care, maybe contact her doctor to ask for referrals, sometimes there is an elder care organization that might give you options. I was a nurse for over 21 years and I can tell you you are not doing yourself or your dogs any favors to live with this toxic stress. Please consider yourself as well as your mom. Any siblings that could help out in some way?
 
Well we've gotten a few breaks, one being I talked her into pulling her 40' motorhome off the consignment lot, we'll be reasonably comfortable in it for a few months at least, close enough to help but away from the dogs from hell. It didn't come back in time to refill the propane tank today, so we'll be in it tomorrow.

Also found a few things my dogs will eat, they've eaten 3 consecutive meals. Some of it he would only eat from my hand, not from his bowl... not sure what he's trying to say but whatever it is, hard to hold back the tears. It's not perfect but I think it's progress...

Oh and I have a plan that will hopefully teach Amanda to leave us alone, I'm going to leave a piece of chicken breast with very hot hotsauce injected into it. It'll be big enough that she has to chew before she can swallow. She's in such a hurry when she steals, she doesn't take time to smell, hopefully a mouthful of Monkey Spit will be enough negative incentive...
 
I am sorry, but this just bothers me and I feel I need to say this. While it is obvious that you and everyone in your household is under some extreme stress, I am not sure how I feel about you being mean to another dog. Dogs are not vindictive, they react to their environment. I know you probably don't have time to deal with Amanda with your own dogs, but being mean to her will only exacerbate the situation. She is probably only reacting to her world being invaded and turned upside down. It takes time to introduce new dogs into a living situation and it was Amanda's home first. She might just be acting out due to her stress. Your stress may be affecting both her and your own dogs. You need to take care of yourself and then the dogs will start to relax and calm down. Just my unsolicited thoughts...
 
I am so sorry that it's been such a stressful time for you and your dogs. Your dogs are definitely being affected by your increased stress levels and it's certainly understandable but is there anything you can do to help relieve it at all? Is there anyone you can talk to...a councillor, friend or even a priest? Perhaps even going for long walks or going to a gym? Until you can find a way to release some of this (think of it like a pressure valve) your dogs will continue to feel it and will be affected by it.
I can understand why you'd feel this anger towards Amanda but it really isn't her fault. She's a dog, just as yours are and they're ruled by instincts. If she's been allowed to get away with this behaviour it's become a learned behavior and punishing her by purposely leaving food out that is laced with something isn't the answer. I feel like your placing your anger on Amanda for all you've had to give up by moving in to help your mom and believe you me I understand that. My 91 year old mother lives with me and I do get very frustrated as well with all I have to do for her.
Is there anyone who can help out to give you a break? What about hiring a caregiver for a few hours every day or a few times a week or even a family friend? Sometimes asking for help is the hardest thing to do but if you want to stay sane it's what you must do (I also cared for my husband for 10 years after he was diagnosed with MS and before he was placed in a nursing home). I have gone for counselling many times just to help me cope and it truly was a lifesaver, it helped me to understand where it was all coming from and to learn new coping mechanisms.
I could go on and on because I truly do understand what your going through because I've been there and even now there are days I let my anger get the best of me but it's just not healthy for you, your dogs or your mom.
 
pomshe said:
I am sorry, but this just bothers me and I feel I need to say this. While it is obvious that you and everyone in your household is under some extreme stress, I am not sure how I feel about you being mean to another dog. Dogs are not vindictive, they react to their environment. I know you probably don't have time to deal with Amanda with your own dogs, but being mean to her will only exacerbate the situation. She is probably only reacting to her world being invaded and turned upside down. It takes time to introduce new dogs into a living situation and it was Amanda's home first. She might just be acting out due to her stress. Your stress may be affecting both her and your own dogs. You need to take care of yourself and then the dogs will start to relax and calm down. Just my unsolicited thoughts...
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Amanda has been a thief for years, she has been doing it since she got big enough to counter-surf, it is not new behavior. We have merely added opportunities. She is over weight, and has been almost all of her adult life, because her food intake can't be controlled. There has never been a negative consequence to her thievery. By teaching her not to steal, her life will be extended, she has some congenital hip issue that wasn't severe enough for surgery, but could cause issues as she ages -- especially if she is over weight.

There are companies that use electric shock and live rattlesnakes (either de-fanged or with wire ties around their mouths) to teach dogs aversion to rattlesnakes -- is that mean? To teach a dog a fear that will save its life? If I succeed I'll have done her a huge favor.
 
mmcginty said:
Amanda has been a thief for years, she has been doing it since she got big enough to counter-surf, it is not new behavior. We have merely added opportunities. She is over weight, and has been almost all of her adult life, because her food intake can't be controlled. There has never been a negative consequence to her thievery. By teaching her not to steal, her life will be extended, she has some congenital hip issue that wasn't severe enough for surgery, but could cause issues as she ages -- especially if she is over weight.

There are companies that use electric shock and live rattlesnakes (either de-fanged or with wire ties around their mouths) to teach dogs aversion to rattlesnakes -- is that mean? To teach a dog a fear that will save its life? If I succeed I'll have done her a huge favor.
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I think perhaps it would be best that you either find Amanda another home or find a trainer that can help stop the thievery without resorting to a cruel method. Sounds to me like your taking pleasure in this and that's just not right.
 
I am sorry, but dogs are not "thieves". They are opportunists. Why can't you just not leave food on the counter? When I had a cat I couldn't leave food out on the counter or table, so I adjusted to that. It seems like you are just setting Amanda up to misbehave. You are projecting your frustrations and stress onto her. You say you can't control her food intake, but that is not true, you are the human, put the food away and she won't get into it.
 
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