Skittish and afraid when around me

I can't believe you all would allow someone like this to post on here and then leave the thread up. I would have banned and deleted this member right away if posting to a forum I owned. Its a shame he thinks he needs to give the dog a reason to dislike him anymore.

I guess I view life slightly differently than the average poster. While I view Fenceman as a bit of a jerk (assuming I interpreted his post correctly and assuming he truly meant the garbage he spewed), the whole banning thing is a tad touchy for me. If Fenceman was banned for inappropriate behavior to a moderator, I wholeheartedly support that. On the other hand, I would like to think that no-one would be banned for posting an unpopular point of view. Just to make my point clear here, I do not support Fenceman's way of assessing his position in the hierarchy of him - his GF - and her dog. My only point is simply that assuming protocol and TOS provisions are followed, we should all be able to express our opinions. If Fenceman abused a moderator with his behavior, Good Bye, Good Riddance. I agree that this is a teachable moment.
 
I guess I view life slightly differently than the average poster. While I view Fenceman as a bit of a jerk (assuming I interpreted his post correctly and assuming he truly meant the garbage he spewed), the whole banning thing is a tad touchy for me. If Fenceman was banned for inappropriate behavior to a moderator, I wholeheartedly support that. On the other hand, I would like to think that no-one would be banned for posting an unpopular point of view. Just to make my point clear here, I do not support Fenceman's way of assessing his position in the hierarchy of him - his GF - and her dog. My only point is simply that assuming protocol and TOS provisions are followed, we should all be able to express our opinions. If Fenceman abused a moderator with his behavior, Good Bye, Good Riddance. I agree that this is a teachable moment.

Please re-read Kelly's post above on the reasons he was banned. It was for behavior directed at the moderators.
 
He will reap the 'rewards' of his other behaviors elsewhere in life :wink2: A big part of happiness seems to be in learning how to smile and accept things to me (not that I always succeed at it :o )
 
Please re-read Kelly's post above on the reasons he was banned. It was for behavior directed at the moderators.

Danisgoat:

Please reread my comments. I made it a point to mention TWICE that I had no issue with banning if the poster abused a moderator. My point was and is that except for failures to follow protocol and TOS's, banning is troubling for me. I have no trouble with defending my point of view, but I can't defend my point of view if you don't address what I wrote. I agree with banning if the poster abused a moderator.
 
I guess I view life slightly differently than the average poster. While I view Fenceman as a bit of a jerk (assuming I interpreted his post correctly and assuming he truly meant the garbage he spewed), the whole banning thing is a tad touchy for me. If Fenceman was banned for inappropriate behavior to a moderator, I wholeheartedly support that. On the other hand, I would like to think that no-one would be banned for posting an unpopular point of view. Just to make my point clear here, I do not support Fenceman's way of assessing his position in the hierarchy of him - his GF - and her dog. My only point is simply that assuming protocol and TOS provisions are followed, we should all be able to express our opinions. If Fenceman abused a moderator with his behavior, Good Bye, Good Riddance. I agree that this is a teachable moment.

This. I thought his attitude was odd and counterproductive - You're posting on a message board aimed at Sheltie enthusiasts. Common sense suggests that you adopt a more conciliatory tone - but I thought the responses were a bit out of whack. I didn't care for his attitude either, but I don't have a problem with his "my way or the highway attitude". He doesn't have to love dogs. Or want to be an owner. Now, if it's a big point to the gf, and he's planning to marry her, he should consider giving in, but he didn't indicate they were planning marriage. And, even if they are, it may not be an issue they're willing to compromise on.

I don't really see how lecturing him on why he should want the dog in his/their life was appropriate or helpful. It's not really any of our concern if he doesn't want his gf's dog around. That's between them.

He doesn't like dogs. It happens. If the girlfriend is determined to own dogs, they probably won't work out. But he doesn't really have to compromise on the issue if he doesn't want to. If my wife had been dead set against taking in Fasb when we adopted him, we probably wouldn't have taken him. I wanted a dog, but there wouldn't have been a huge fight over it (It'd probably be different now that he's been a member of the family for three years) .
 
This. I thought his attitude was odd and counterproductive - You're posting on a message board aimed at Sheltie enthusiasts. Common sense suggests that you adopt a more conciliatory tone - but I thought the responses were a bit out of whack. I didn't care for his attitude either, but I don't have a problem with his "my way or the highway attitude". He doesn't have to love dogs. Or want to be an owner. Now, if it's a big point to the gf, and he's planning to marry her, he should consider giving in, but he didn't indicate they were planning marriage. And, even if they are, it may not be an issue they're willing to compromise on.

I don't really see how lecturing him on why he should want the dog in his/their life was appropriate or helpful. It's not really any of our concern if he doesn't want his gf's dog around. That's between them.

He doesn't like dogs. It happens. If the girlfriend is determined to own dogs, they probably won't work out. But he doesn't really have to compromise on the issue if he doesn't want to. If my wife had been dead set against taking in Fasb when we adopted him, we probably wouldn't have taken him. I wanted a dog, but there wouldn't have been a huge fight over it (It'd probably be different now that he's been a member of the family for three years) .

Fasb's Owner: Agreed. I think that your comment is (almost) 100% in line with my thought process on this one (I disagree slightly with his "my way or the highway" approach but in the end I think you and I would be aligned).

The point that I was subtly trying to make (perhaps a bit too subtly) was that often times here, those that have an opinion that veers slightly off of the majority opinion are treated with a slight sense of disfavor. My personal opinion is that any point of view is worthy of expressing, be it a majority opinion or not. I know that the reason I feel this way is because I often find myself out of step with the majority on a variety of issues (here and other places). I find debate healthy and progressive. Debate is difficult if we all think the same way on an issue.
 
Danisgoat:

Please reread my comments. I made it a point to mention TWICE that I had no issue with banning if the poster abused a moderator. My point was and is that except for failures to follow protocol and TOS's, banning is troubling for me. I have no trouble with defending my point of view, but I can't defend my point of view if you don't address what I wrote. I agree with banning if the poster abused a moderator.

I think Danisgoat's point is Kelly point blank stated he was solely banned for for his private messages to moderators not for anything he posted to the public forum. It is a decision that moderators do not take lightly and therefore very rarely ban members. There is no reason to debate it on this thread or anywhere else as it is not debatable. It is only making this thread spiral off topic. Lets move on from it. Thank you.
 
If my boyfriend ever dared act like you do about one of mine, and my dog was showing me all of the signs that you are not a good person, you would be gone :biggrin2:
The dog was there before you, and the dog will still be there long after you are gone.
Either find a way to like and make peace with the dog, or find yourself a new girlfriend. Clearly it isn't the right relationship for you if you can't handle it.
 
Welcome to the forums Jimbosdad.

We permitted this post to go to the forums so it will serve as a teachable moment. We had also hoped that some of the advice given would help improve the environment for the dog.

If you check this member's status, you will see they have since been banned. Fenceman was not banned for what he posted publicly here, but for behavior directed to the moderators that will not be publicly discussed.

I think you all have a great site here and understand this guy must have said something pretty bad to be banned. I am also a moderator on another site and if I ban someone then I also believe anything they post goes goodbye with them since they are no longer able to defend their views and read advice still being posted on an issue they are no longer a part of. Just my two cents. That was the point of my last post.
I'm sure the guy just didn't understand the sensitivity of our sheltie and no longer can partake in any advice given to him.
 
I think you all have a great site here and understand this guy must have said something pretty bad to be banned. I am also a moderator on another site and if I ban someone then I also believe anything they post goes goodbye with them since they are no longer able to defend their views and read advice still being posted on an issue they are no longer a part of. Just my two cents. That was the point of my last post.
I'm sure the guy just didn't understand the sensitivity of our sheltie and no longer can partake in any advice given to him.

I agree with this policy, especially when (post #20) he requested that the thread be removed. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I believe that is what the moderators must have done to allow him here in the first place. I also respect their decision to remove him. It does seem that he was looking for training advice (post #17), but not willing to take ownership for his part of the problem, and also incredibly ignorant or uncaring of the effect of his attitude in a group of sheltie lovers. If something someone said here is what led the girlfriend to take the dog for some training, then his being here, even briefly was a good thing for the sheltie regardless of whether she chooses to keep or dump the boyfriend. Now that he is gone, it seems like we are being a bit like bullies by persisting in talking about him. :cry:
 
Back
Top