My vet called. We're going to try a tiny dose of buprenorphine. He said, if that doesn't work, most likely the gaba-whatever won't work. We're also going to try SAM-e if it's cost effective, see if that does anything for his cognition and pain too. That takes longer to see effects though. So we'll see what happens with the buprenorphine. He did say though, with his age and ailments, alleviating the pain may not be possible.
We also discussed the usage of NSAID's. He felt that we shouldn't go down that route at all. Why? Because it'll do way more damage to him than help. At that point, euthanasia is more kind.
Strangely enough, this vet feels he's in the last stages of kidney failure. Whereas my last vet, still had him around a stage 3 (out of 5). Weird, but okay.
As for the other topic.....
I think what many of you have to realize is this....when Miko's bout of diarrhea wasn't clearing up, I was ready to let him go. I will never truly be ready (who really is?), but I am not holding on longer than Miko needs. So please, please, please understand that I am not keeping him here for myself. I have told him many times when he's ready to go, just go. Or let me know and I will let you go.
I'm going to tell you two things and I hope you realize that I would never hold onto someone longer than they care to be here. And hopefully, they won't stay here for me. The first....people say you can't choose when you die. I disagree. I believe you can choose to kill yourself anytime you want. Being able to do it is a different story. I will not keep anyone here, if they don't want to be here. I won't ever be angry at someone who commits suicide because for them, it was the decision they made, for whatever reason. They didn't want to live and I'm not going to take the right to die away from them.
Secondly, regardless if you believe, just hear me out. Long story really short, I went to see a medium with my mom 2 days after my dad died. She told me that my dad heard me say that it was okay for him to go, that I didn't want him to stay for me, and that he thanked me for letting go. She had no clue I said that, no one did. I never said it aloud. I didn't want him to hold on, because of us. I wanted him to be at peace and not suffer any longer.
I believe people who keep people alive, for their own benefit are selfish. If you want to die, I may not help you, but I won't stop you either. I may ask why, but otherwise, it is your life to do with as you please. Of course I will hurt and mourn, but I won't guilt them into staying. I also think people have the right to die if they are diagnosed with a terminal illness (regardless if they're still somewhat healthy). I wish we had more euthanasia laws for humans, but we don't.
Because I'm in charge of Miko's life, trust me, I would never, ever keep him here longer just so I won't hurt.
I hope you see where I'm coming from and why I find it offensive that many of you feel I'm keeping him here for myself. I also don't believe being in pain means suffering. It's right up there with putting down racehorses because they're injured. It all just depends on the circumstances. I wish I knew how much pain he was in....none of us really knows. And none of us really knows if he's fine with it or not.
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