Trixie unexpectedly said goodbye

I had known she was getting older. I was careful with making sure she had her health checkups. I was optimistic only within this last month when her last checkup showed zero problems and that's when I started to think maybe she would live like 14 or something since there didn't seem to be a problem this year. I just started to think a little longer than "let's make it to her 12th birthday".

I gotta not go there with the guilty thoughts .... or I won't sleep tonight. I'll close this down for the night or I'll start thinking something I gave her caused her problems .... but I didn't give her anything recently to cause that. I mean she had flea/tick stuff but it's been at least 10 days ago. If that was a culprit it would have acted quicker and she showed no signs of distress. Just normal and then an hour later, not normal. Just sleepy. Then, ready to die. So incredibly baffling.
 
I know I would be the same way, wanting answers, wanting to make sense of it somehow. I don't know what's worse, the sudden unexpected loss or the long drawn out goodbye. My Asta was 12 also when she had her stroke and we lost her. Our first Sheltie got to 15 so it took me completely by surprise, I just assumed she had years left.

Sheep is right, sometimes it's just their time. I was a hospital nurse for 21 years and saw this happen with people also. Be kind to yourself, that's what Trixie would want. I am sorry you feel so alone. :hugs
 
Katrina I’m so very sorry for your loss…I’m so incredibly sorry you lost your girl so suddenly! I too lost a dog suddenly so I can understand partly how you must feel but it’s still horrible for you. Hopefully in time you can remember the good times and until then we’re here for you.
 
I am so sorry Trixie passed so suddenly and unexpectedly! My heart just hurts for you. Reading your posts of the love you shared just warmed my heart.

Please know we all understand that a part of your soul is missing. I wish we did not have to suffer these losses. People say time helps. Not sure it really does.

We can only offer you compassion and virtual hugs. We all have been at this sad place. You were lucky to have such a special soul enter your life.

I am so very sorry for your loss.
RIP Trixie
 
Thank you for allowing me this place to talk. I've never known another person who owned a Sheltie. They are just super special dogs. I always have loved them and always will. I want to be surrounded by them. Work with them. Be with them. Trixie was my dog but she was so much more than to me. She went nearly everywhere with me and when we were at home (I work from home and homeschool and do a lot from home so she was always always there). I was just getting ready to take her on a trip with me. She was my front seat car buddy. She traveled well. She was quiet and could go absolutely anywhere. She was that type of dog that when others who were scared of dogs would be able to pet her and be able to say, ok, I am scared of dogs but this dog, she is not a normal dog and they would always smile at me and pet her.

During the worst of my depression a few years back, she was trained and given the honor being my service dog. I really honestly wouldn't have made it through and neither would she have after I got her back otherwise. So, yeah, the last few years she has been tightly bound to me. I wouldn't have had it any other way but it sure makes it harder. Still, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

The last night before she died, she was sleeping near me and was so cute. She looked like a bear skin rug all spread out. She always trusted that when I got out of bed I would never step on her no matter how close I got to her nose or her foot.

I miss her so much. I'm not through this part in my life and I'm still in such shock. It's slightly better since it's been a few days but still a huge void.

It was so hard last night. I slept fitfully and I woke for hours in the dark. It was slightly better than the night before. I went outside on the porch to water my garden. I hadn't been there since the morning I took her last to the bathroom. She was always with me out on the porch. I never gardened without her because we did our morning routine together. She just always was by my side. It's awful.

My girls (23 & 15) are also talking about expecting her here or there. I'm glad they are talking.

I visited the grave yesterday and then again today. Today I just cried and cried. I know that everyone grieves differently and my daughters are quiet. I need that loud wailing time of grief.

I don't know anyone who owns a Sheltie. Is there a club in driving distance of me? Is there any sort of Sheltie club that gets together? I would drive to be with other Sheltie owners. I've never been a part of a club but I am totally interested.

Katrina
 
I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you! When I lost my last dog (7 years ago now) I managed to find a Sheltie breeder that had pups on the way…fate I believe because she was the only one available with pups and I ended up with Piper, my first Sheltie puppy. Honestly this is what helped me get through that loss. I had another older Sheltie I’d rescued but it just wasn’t the same. is getting or looking for a pup an option for you? You could always check out the AKC site for breeders near you if your interested.
 
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