My beautiful spunky girl is near the end I fear. She had a very big bleed last night. Had to give two emergency pills about 6 hours apart. I could tell she was in pain (retracting her abdomen) so I gave her the injection of buprenorphine. It knocked her out. We slept with her in the living room, I was too afraid to lift her onto the bed. She didn't move from about 11:30 PM until 6:45 AM this morning.
Her gums are very pale, and the drugs made her dopey, so it's hard to tell if her being very lethargic is just her illness or a combination. It should wear off by tonight if it's the drug. She did actually eat some peanut butter and some Happy Howies, which is a meat roll that we dice up for Nosework treats. She has been out to potty twice, but then right back down.
I have no end-of-life experience with this type of cancer so I just don't know what to expect. I was led to believe she'd have an uncontrollable bleed, and that would be it. Not a horribly painful way to go, especially if I can get the narcotic into her. I keep praying she'll go in her sleep. This is the hardest friggin' part. I hate playing God. "Is it now?" I figure as long as she'll eat a little, and potty, and not be in pain, that we'll support her at home.
Please, all who can, say a prayer for my wonderful girl who deserved to live more of her golden years, but who definitely deserves a peaceful passing. Hard to stop crying now.
